confused12

Hi Goose, Thanks for posting this question as the responses have also helped me. I to have had difficulty opening up in therapy. It frustrates me to the point where I scream at myself (in my head) and end up shutting down communication altogether and withdraw. I am about to start with a new therapist after a 7 month break.:eek: I am so worried that I will end up avoiding the issues or minimize the issues and basically waste the therapists time. So I will try and focus on some of the tips Mark and David have suggested. Nice to meet you goose. confused12

Yes I get it Paula, I am a visual picture person. Thanks for your response. I think I have mentioned the experiences minus the baby aspect as I wasn't pregnant then. But I don't recall anyone explaining what they thought it was. This is why I am asking. But then again they may have explained but I can't remember. Confused12

I am not sure if I am in the right area for this but I am sure someone will move it if it is better matched to another zone. I am trying to understand the dissociation/depersonalization I am experiencing which has a twist. I often have episodes where I think/feel like I am living in a parallel. By this I mean things are happening around me but I am standing next to my body and feel nothing, yet I see things happening. I do not face myself so I actually can't see my physical reactions or what I look like in real life. I have been experiencing this often again only the twist is I am further away and facing myself. I am that far away that I can't actually see me clearly. The other part to the twist is that I am pregnant in real life and the baby which I know is inside me actually is outside my body and some distance away during these parallel episodes. It is all a bit weird for me but I would like to see if anyone has some insight or experience with these kinds of thoughts. I am not really sure what triggers this as I don't remember anything before I notice what I have described above. I don't even know how often it happens or how long it goes for. I am interest in hearing from anyone with their thoughts/experiences. Confused12

I do like to watch movies but I am just not into them, haven't been for some months. I like the outdoors but really need to make an effort to get out a bit more. I think I am being a little too slack. Now that I know that I need to get out and do some things. I just need to do it if it was only that easy. Confused12

Hi there tracey.f I understand your point on the questioning of what to try next. I find it frustrating. I guess I stopped counting at trialling 20 different medications and even tried a retrials of meds I had been on. I was told this last one was a last option, well that sounded real hopeful, not. My bloods etc have been messed up and reactions to certain med have now seen me require hospitalization. I have to enter inpatient for two weeks if they want me to trial a new drug now. I have not had ECT but have tried CBT last year and made some improvements. I really don't know what the answer is when one's body just does not like synthetic (or some natural) material entering it, as well as feeling depressed. It does just add to the hopeless feeling. I would try psychotherapy again but not CBT at first. At least while engaged in some treatment there is hope. At the moment I am exisiting, waiting, trying to keep busy bit of a false reality, is getting me through. (Some survival instinct) Do you still have hope? confused12

Wow Proverbs, what strength you have. You are awesome. Great to hear things are on the improve. Confused12

Hi AndreaB, I think this is something you need to ask the pdoc about. Sleep problems can arise from many different things, meds are one aspect. Another could be night anxiety, well that's what I call it. All the anxiety which is not processed from the day and passed anxieties trigger each other and the mind wont just not rest. However I don't sleep during the day. The day sleeping could be due to not getting the night rest required as well. I would suggest that you talk to the medication prescriber though, lack of sleep creates so many more issues. Take care, Confused12

Hi Just Me, Sometimes labels can be beneficial. I am having difficulty at the moment with my eldest son, he is 7. He is currently having difficulty's at school in regards to reading and writing but has some other personal characteristics which all fit as criteria for a label. His school wont label him and they feel it will be unfair and stigmatizing. So as a result they will not refer him to a educational psych for assessment and they do not have to provide the specialist support program he really needs. It is disappointing that as a educated parent who can see beyond the disorder and know that he is a little boy who is rather frustrated can not get the support he needs at school because the school thinks they are looking in his best interest by not labeling him. It is also disappointing that one needs a label to actually be provided funding and support to which everyone should be entitled to especially at that age. Sorry a bit of a rant. But beyond the labels we are all unique human beings, I guess that is what makes us so complex and interesting. What works for one may not work for others. I guess this is where generic criteria lets us humans down. Confused12

Hi Mark, Are you able to add a 'thank you' reply to the bottom each post. So like if I started a thread and wanted to thank someone for there reply but others had posted in between I could actually go to that post and click on a thank you icon or something and the post a thank you from me, with my name attached. This would let the poster know that I have read the post and appreciate the time they have taken to respond to my thread. Confused12

Hi fallenstar, Well I guess people are at all different stages of recovery and recovering different things. People don't respond for lots of different reasons. I know that for the last few months I am struggling to respond to certain threads mainly my own due to avoidance issues. I am trying to read posts though. One of the things I would like to see added to the site is a 'thank you' reply which can be clicked on to acknowledge when you really want to thank someone for replying to your thread. I will put in in the feedback forum. This may reduce the 'waste of time' though you had. Then you will also know that the person has read your post and your comments are valued. I think the nature of the community means that sometimes people will feel like they are constantly providing support rather than receiving. But in the long run I do think that things swing around. Maybe you are trying to give so much that you are burning yourself out. Do take care and leave some energy for yourself. Take care, Confused12

Yeah, I finally went to the midwife. I have got through the formal questions and things went okay. I was a little disconnected I think, I think it actually helped me get through the appointment. I still have the intense sense of dread though. It's becoming a little overwhelming so one minute I am full of anxiety as soon as that calms I just don't want to move or do anything, just hide away in bed. Confused12

Thank you for your encouragement Allan and finding my way. I am trying to communicate as much as possible, not just here but in real life as well. The appointment difficulty is more about not trusting people, I think. I didn't have a positive experience during one of my pregnancy's which has eventuated in the ob/gyn being charge and he is currently in jail. I was not the only woman to suffer under his care but over a hundred women many with long term damage and consequences. As for the pregnancy it wasn't planned for this year, so it has taken a fair bit of time to accept. My husband is excited, he can't wait but is a little stressed about the practicalities of me being pregnant. Maybe the 'bluh' is about being tired. Tired of work, tired of family commitments, tired of myself expecting to be happy and fine about life when everything feels like it is falling apart again. It sounds weird to me but I am actually scared to think that things will improve, just in case they don't. confused12

Hi Proverbs, Sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I just want to reply to let you know I am right here with you. Just hang in and take one day at a time. Thinking of you, Confused12

I guess I have a few worries the main one being medical care over the next few months. Well I am hoping that I will not need much medical care at all really. Getting myself to a midwife or Ob/gyn is going to be a mission in itself. As for the other worries things like PIH (Pregnancy induced Hypertension), Obstetric Cholestasis, and placental abruption which were experiences with my last three pregnancies. And mixing with the general issues of luck of trust in people, anxiety and depression.

What a helpful thread. I am thinking of hobbies to get involved in once I take leave from work in the next month or two. It is quiet challenging for me to be involved in something which is just about interest, enjoyment and fun. Not that my past time consumers have not been fun although they have been interests which have required such structure and commitment and effort beyond fun. I am looking into photography at this point. I have enjoyed reading the past posts about photography. I am concerned that I will become obsessed with perfection and hence I have become a little ambivalent about taking on this hobby. But then again I have not come up with an alternative interest.