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Filum

People spying on me.

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I'm feeling a bit hopeless. It's like people can hear my thoughts, no matter how hard I try to hide them. I'll think of something and seconds later someone on the tv will mention it out of nowhere. Later on I'll be at the store thinking about it again and someone standing in line will suddenly blurt out what I was saying in my head. I thought it was coincidence at first but it's been happening just about every day. When it happens, I sort of shut down all other thoughts and repeat "Stay out of head" inside until it drowns out everything. People look at me when I'm doing it and I make sure to keep my face blank and my eyes straight ahead, so I know they know that I know what they're doing.

It's worse when they look me in the eyes. Eyes are creepy no matter what, I used to scare myself as a kid by staring my reflection in the eye, but eye to eye contact is like looking into a dark pit and not knowing if something is down there looking back. They're just staring, reading me like a book while I get nothing from them.

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Hi Filum,

The thoughts that you think, the ones where you feel people can hear your thoughts, are they everyday thoughts - you know things like "Oh I must go such and such a place today", "I wouldnt mind seeing that film when it comes out" or "I need to puchase some whatever" etc.... ?

Because if these are the type of thoughts that you do mean, then yes it is more than likely that it is just sheer co-incidence.

Im sorry your feeling a bit hopeless, but mabe we can help put your mind at rest a little :(

What kind of thoughts is it, that you feel people can hear ?

Hope that your day is kind to you.

Take care

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No. I'll think about fear of the dark and suddenly the song "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden will come on, and minutes later at an entirely different place someone will mention out of nowhere how they're afraid of the dark. Things like that.

It's not even involved in the conversation they were having.

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Guest SomethingOrOther

Sometimes things like that happen. It may seem strange and mysterious, but fear of the dark is not really specific and if people in a shop talk about something you saw on TV earlier, I'd assume they saw it too. When you think about something like a ... donkey that chokes on a baby toy, that is more outside the general mainstream experience. Now that I wrote it, it obviously doesn't count, though.

Do you find it difficult to interpret other peoples gestures or moods?

Take care.

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Hello I was just wondering if you were bullies growing up? Because I was severely bullied and affected me into adulthood:(.

Sometimes when I get my moments it feels like when I go outside or downtown I feel like people are pointing their finger at me or laughing at me behind my back and it gets so bad that I stay home.

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I have similar experiences pretty often too, and it could be something beyond our understanding.

But you can rationalize it away if it is comforting, for instance, would someone saying they are afriad of the dark have any significance had you not heard the song earlier?

In other words, becuase you heard the song about being afraid in the dark, you become more conscious of that thought, consequently,it is for that reason that you pick up on any seemingly related phenomenon. Had you not heard that song earlier, you would have heard the person talk about being afriad of the dark and not have attached any sort of menaing to it, you'd just walk by without a thought.

Its not that the world is listening to your thougths, its that your thoughts are changing the way you are listening to the world, they change what is signifcant in the world and what is not significant. When you hear a song play on the radio, like 'afriad of the dark' that is a thought which is going to look for things in the world to complement or attach itself to.

So in fact, when you are thinking about something, you should in fact, on some level, expect to find it in the world in some way shape or form.

And like someone else already mentioned, when you were in the shop, maybe that person saw the same thing on t.v...People often think in similar ways, especially when they are in the same sort of situation or moment.

If thats not comforting then you could ask, if people really are listenign to your thoughts, why is that bad? What is so frightening about that? Maybe you can listen too their thoughts to if you pay close attention? For me sometime sit helps to accept things that are bothering me, and accept that I can't escape it, rather than getting hung up on itt.

Edited by nathan

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Filum I'm not a doctor, but I am delightfully insane (and handsome,) and I know what you're going through. I wouldn't tell you this if it weren't an echo of what my psychiatrist, a wonderfully bright and wise woman, told me when I first approached her with my head in my hands. She told me that few professionals and even fewer friends will let you know exactly what's going on with you in order to be sensitive to the impact of the devastation an honest and direct diagnosis will have upon you. I've been tracking your posts, Filum, and I sympathize with what ails you, but as I was once told myself I would be doing you no kindness by allowing you to believe that you don't have a mental illness. Most people here are tempted to extend a friendly hand of comfort, and they will, and they have, and they should, that it what this forum is for. It's not for people like me, a member of the community, to give an unprofessional diagnosis; however, Filum, you're exhibiting script, powerful symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. You need to tell your mother what's going on inside your head, bro, because this will likely wreck your life and possibly others if you don't seek treatment. Help is out there, and believe it or not in this modern age there are all kinds of therapies and pharmaceuticals which can all but guarantee a happy, untroubled, and mostly symptom free life. You need it man, you really do. Take it from someone who's been there.

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Delightfully insane and handsome you may be, but I can't take your advice. I won't tell her that I feel like (important, because I know they aren't, it just feels that way) people are listening to my thoughts, and that I hear someone calling me all the time but when I go to see who it is there's no one there. She knows about the latter anyway, I'm always running downstairs to ask why she's calling and it's never her, but she sees nothing wrong with it. She takes some things as a personal insult, others she just dismisses. And if you have been tracking my posts, you know that there are some things I can't say to anyone. Besides, that comes and goes.

SomethingOrOther, I can't interpret body language without a guide. Some things I can equate to videos I've seen of animal behavior, but when you throw in emotions and if someone's words don't match their body, I'm lost.

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