Random thoughts for today again... just to feel somebody is listening...

My bf was here today. We ate, watched some movie and then he had to leave. If he stayed longer I would have been a good girl, but after he left I couldn't resist. I went out to buy some ice cream cause "I need to eat something these days while reading".

Do I have to mention that I didn't open a book? And of course you get the picture... I opened ALL the ice creams. Right now I am having the last. Don't ask me the number, it would be so emparrassing! I already have a time running backwards for my thesis, and a body getting fatter, but I do excactly the opposite of what I should.

At least I made a plan today, concidering the "after thesis" period. I am thinking of giving something like 4 CV's (the importand ones at my area of town) and the rest in September.

So after all the unpleasant and stressfull things, the plan is going to have things like: quitar self learning, writing songs for the group (if I manage), practicing piano, preparing for answering interview questions while searching for a job in September, planning some Orff lessons to be ready for the time I have a job.

Apart from my job, I want to do things for my well being, so I want to read something like five or more self help books, make positive thoughts before sleaping and excersise to regain a nice appearance. I want to make yoga (self tought again) for helping my body and mind work with more relaxation and energy (I am totally the opposite). But the most important I want to do is WALK. I need to walk an hour the day, cause as I see it right now, it will be so difficult to persuade me to eat 1500 kcal a day. No way! The goal would be not to eat more than I should, imagine persuading me to eat less...

No, I can't tell what 'more' counts in ice creams. No..

But maybe I can try to sleap..it is 5.10. Maybe not. Just a while ago I was talking to a friend about the night mare...I mean the 'mare' part, if you happen to know. She has been through this and really since she told me how nusty it is, I don't want to sleap alone... sometimes I am so scared thinking that it might happen to me.

Most of these times, I have exceeded the logical time a person goes to sleap, so my tiredeness makes me feel that way. I hear a crack and look around as if I am going to see something weird in the room. I hate the fact that as I grow old I gain more fears. Or maybe I should stop allowing ppl to tell me freaking stories.

Maybe some positive thoughts will help too.. so, see you tomorrow, safe under the sun light I hope

And fat...