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Ice creams


Autognosy

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Random thoughts for today again... just to feel somebody is listening...

My bf was here today. We ate, watched some movie and then he had to leave. If he stayed longer I would have been a good girl, but after he left I couldn't resist. I went out to buy some ice cream cause "I need to eat something these days while reading".

Do I have to mention that I didn't open a book? And of course you get the picture... I opened ALL the ice creams. Right now I am having the last. Don't ask me the number, it would be so emparrassing! I already have a time running backwards for my thesis, and a body getting fatter, but I do excactly the opposite of what I should.

At least I made a plan today, concidering the "after thesis" period. I am thinking of giving something like 4 CV's (the importand ones at my area of town) and the rest in September.

So after all the unpleasant and stressfull things, the plan is going to have things like: quitar self learning, writing songs for the group (if I manage), practicing piano, preparing for answering interview questions while searching for a job in September, planning some Orff lessons to be ready for the time I have a job.

Apart from my job, I want to do things for my well being, so I want to read something like five or more self help books, make positive thoughts before sleaping and excersise to regain a nice appearance. I want to make yoga (self tought again) for helping my body and mind work with more relaxation and energy (I am totally the opposite). But the most important I want to do is WALK. I need to walk an hour the day, cause as I see it right now, it will be so difficult to persuade me to eat 1500 kcal a day. No way! The goal would be not to eat more than I should, imagine persuading me to eat less...

No, I can't tell what 'more' counts in ice creams. No..

But maybe I can try to sleap..it is 5.10. Maybe not. Just a while ago I was talking to a friend about the night mare...I mean the 'mare' part, if you happen to know. She has been through this and really since she told me how nusty it is, I don't want to sleap alone... sometimes I am so scared thinking that it might happen to me.

Most of these times, I have exceeded the logical time a person goes to sleap, so my tiredeness makes me feel that way. I hear a crack and look around as if I am going to see something weird in the room. I hate the fact that as I grow old I gain more fears. Or maybe I should stop allowing ppl to tell me freaking stories.

Maybe some positive thoughts will help too.. so, see you tomorrow, safe under the sun light I hope :(

And fat...

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Hey staraki!

Thank you so muck for your concern!

I am reading your blog too from time to time, though I don't always reply.

I did the same yesterday night...ate a lot, slept early in the morning...waiting for any ghost to attack -lol! The same pattern even thought my bf freaked me out when he remind me how many pages and how few days I have to finish and panicked me! Then I saw my teacher in my sleap, telling me that she doesn't mind what I write as soon as I finish the thesis. Right now I am starting again and I don't intend to leave my chair till 12 at night. I have to leave it behind as my parents are coming to town the next days and having them around speaking and wanting company won't be any help at all (I already spent my time doing the household) and when they leave (on Saturday) I will attent a seminar for a week and after two days that it finishes they are going to give us the graduation paper, so there will be no no time at all till then. I have to write 10 pages and two lesson plans according rhythm. All these, I want them finished and typed on Friday, so I can show them to my bf and have his opinion, and then on Saturday that I have the seminar I can give them to my teacher and ...get free!

Wish me luck!!

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