Back again! I took a brake from the usual, including my searchin about reiki. But I am back, along with some decisions. First of all, next week I am going to accept my level I reiki attunement. Hope that calms me a little, gives me love and fixes my health a little. Then I am thinking of going for consulting. It might help me with my issues and help me with my confidence so I can go with strength to find my dreem job next year. Lastly, homeopathy would be a good idea. I have heard about a good d
Out in the entrance of my block, a paper shooked me. It was about the 40 days memorie of a young boy. I had seen this boy before. Around 30 or less, walking in or out of the block with eyes that didn't shine, you'd say they turned white, lost their colour. I was afraid of him. Right, I did. In our block we had some houses opened and stolen and he did seem as a potential guilty person as he was walking without a purpose, looking at you strangely, silent without greeting. You could tell he was los
Today I bought a little pink necklace, a little pink quartz heart. I don't know if this is my imagination, but it makes me feel very soft in the heart. That was the feeling before when I held it, that is now that I wear it on the neck. It suppose to work on the heart chakra, that means, to help you recieve and give love. And it is such a beautiful stone!! In the shop where I bought it (oh this is a heavenly place, full of smells and sounds of water and soft zen music) I had a big talk with the w
So I am trying to get a job. Did I say trying or being afraid of? Whatever... I am changing my mood 2.000 times a day. I found a job today but didn't manage to call to the last number. I NEED a job, but I am so afraid of making the bad choice (not that I have choice...). Well, this job was rather easy to get cause it selled music books, plus the company who gots it has also a conservatory and some day I could be in as a music teacher for an hour a week. That's just a tiny unproved hope of course
Today I was celebrating my name. My parents with which I don't have perfect relations, cared to call and wish me, my friends, people that I just know a little, some ex fellow students, an ex teacher that I couldn't possible believe would remember me, even an Italian internet person that I have spoken 10 times the most, cared to sent me a wishing message. My brother's 'soon to be' wife, also sent me a message. But my brother not. All I can say is that he needs some serious psychological care, and
I was away for a while and the reason is that I search for things. I want to bring peace, harmony and happiness in my life. I want to stop being sick in my body and find balance in my soul again. One thing that I have found that rather helps is reiki. I want to take some healings and maybe then learn how to heal myself-that is take the first degree in reiki. But I here a lot. They say you have to take something like a little initiation so that your body opens to some power which is -they say- go
I know I am absent for so long, but I have a question right now. My parents came to town and made a fuss out of nowhere! My dad had an issue...like bipolar and I could see it coming since morning so in the evening he tried to make me have a quarrel with him. I tried to stay calm, didn't give them the opportunity to have a fight, I just grabbed my shoes and walked out of the room saying nothing. My mom came after me to tell me to go and talk to him or whatever...I couldn't hear her couse I had my
I am free at last. I gave my thesis, I am going to take my paper with the other students on Friday and next week I am eating just 2 ice creams a month. Also walk and get thin I made a beautiful cover for my thesis, showing that I am not only a musician but a graphic designer as well. Crazy me! Right now I am a little busy, having a seminar to attend. The teacher is the happiest person in the world. He lived 22 years in Tanzania and studied their music. He says that the god of music is Bach (of
Random thoughts for today again... just to feel somebody is listening... My bf was here today. We ate, watched some movie and then he had to leave. If he stayed longer I would have been a good girl, but after he left I couldn't resist. I went out to buy some ice cream cause "I need to eat something these days while reading". Do I have to mention that I didn't open a book? And of course you get the picture... I opened ALL the ice creams. Right now I am having the last. Don't ask me the number, i
I know, it's nothing new I am going to tell you. I am stuck. For 5 days now I do nothing for my thesis. Just refuse to work once again. The summer is here, I can smell it and though this is the perfect scene for me, I do nothing. Yesterday we had to go for a coffee with the band, to talk about band issues. So, I was alert all day. Didn't read, just told myself I haven't got time-which is a lie. Then I was in my appointment only to realize that the only person that brought her papers with the son
Right now I am walking the same old path... Today I didn't work on my thesis and as a result I paniched myself by eating like a maniac! I even felt I am going to get sick and still continued to eat. The worst is that apart of my stomach, my fridge is still full too with ice creams and so on. However, I've decided that since I finish my thesis (which hopefully will be finished at the end of the week) I'll start walking. Monday will be 10 minutes, then 14, then 16, then 20, then 30 and hopefully o
As malign said, yes finally it's all in my mind, all the knowledge and everything. I am moving really slllllllloooooowwww though, but look at the good part of it: I am moving! I need 15 whole pages to finish in my thesis. But I have a nice floating speach in my writing as my friend, boyfriend and father told me. Fortunatelly, cause that ability saves me and helps me connect the informations I have found, so the whole system moves. Let me tell you something about movement. As I say in my thesis m
I know this is not a real problem to most of you. I am afraid you'll believe that I have not got real problems and that I probably don't deserve such attention to an aspect like this, but that's something that stresses me out and hoping for a big encouragement to be honest. Just for a while, a couple of days... I have to finish my thesis on Friday, so I have to work for 7 pages a day and some work occured for Thursday out of home for several hours, so don't afford to lose more hours from writing
This is just todays actions -those who past and those who will come. It's like thinking of what I did to be happy this day passed and a commitement to the things I want to do before I go to sleap so that I can say this day worthed. So today I woke up early and went to the centre of the town. I was in my destination 15 minutes after the shop opened. Today was starting the selling of Jerry Lee Lewis concert tickets, that will come in July Well they said that they have not got the tickets yet (tha
Don't get me wrong, I didn't say it was boring or anything. Just, today I told myself that I'd make a delivery call, cause I needed time to wash the dishes and write my thesis. I refused to my bf and members of the band to see them this week as "I have to do nothing than finishing my thesis" and the result of this was...the same. I did nothing (except from the delivery call) :mad: I mean, what's wrong with me??? I supposed to have it finished by the end of the month-that is by the end of the we
Hello everybody! Long time no seen! Well it's my fault, another time I am unable to keep up with any programm I put to myself. I won't be surprized if there is a name for that problem in pshycological books.. Anyway, like trying to keep friendships with people from this site...withought trying... goes the rest of my life -all this time I am away. The most strong examble is my...thesis. I deny to write it. I open the programm and then..close it as it is. My dietist (who has studied psychology) to
This is one of the 989485279832847st times I promised myself to follow a plan and....failed. Tomorrow comes a new promise. If I succeed to do any of them I'll be glad. One of them is read some of your posts, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have a proper breakfast and do some movement maybe aerobic or yoga, then household then read some mental help blogs, do my thesis which-guess...I haven't started YET, and that is just half of the things I have to do tomorrow. Most of the times in my life I feel as
Well... some things occured this passing time... I almost got a little job according music and children... well things didn't turn out well as the children were so young and couldn't possible follow the plan. I worked several hours to make the perfect lesson plan-which finally didn't teach as I dreamed of. I tried hard not to blame myself and I managed it. After all the mother of the children said she expected that cause she knew it, and on the other hand seemed so pleased with whatever I manage
Well yesterday was the big dietist day! She asked my "would you like to step on the scales?" -I told her "No, I am fine here" Then, after seeing with our own eyes that I wight 2 kilos above my lower record, I told her about last days "eating like an animal". I told her that I knew she was going to weight me, I knew I wasn't hungry but I continued to eat every unhealthy thing I could find all day long. And she told me... "you knew that all month you didn't follow the menu I've given you and yest
Well, I worned you! But since you entered, be my guest I just wanted to think loudly, by typing that's all... Today was a lost day... not just lost, I went back instead of staying stuck. I mean, I woke up soooo late and if it wasn't for my friend's phonecall, I'd probably be sleeping a lot more. Then, I was sleepy all day. So I woke up in noon and was starving, but my choises for food was the worst I could possible do. I went to the market willing to buy a yogurt for my rice. Apart from it I go
So today was a day full of love for me. My bf is as loving person as he was the day he met me. Or should I say, more loving, cause back then he was sooo anxious wether I like him or not. So in general we had a great day, cooking and watching a movie that in first was like a thriller but then it turned out to be a soo tender movie! It was about a husbant who -under unbelievable circumstances- he found out his (unborn then, but some months now) daughter was alive. Anyway, they say if you are full
Well, I don't really have something to discuss today, but I'll find something in the proccess. They say women talk in an early age than men, and once they do, they talk clearly. I say, once they do, they don't stop. So, it's not going to be difficult. The real reason I post today is coming from a conversation with Sue. Posting something of our daily life. I have not got anything from today to show, but I'll try to find something in my image folder. Let's see... This is a night at my city (with m
Hello everyone! Today I am celebrating my freedom! It was a little so little job I was expecting to have, but it seems the lady who gave me her phone and time to call her, doesn't want to pick it up or call me back. So, as I always try to find something good in any situation, let's say my entire day is going to stay free. I can do with it whatever I want, I can be the boss of myself. But on the other hand I won't have to have a boss who can't communicate with me, wether practically or mentally.
Friday's positive thought was I have undertake the control of my life. I am strong and it supposed to be in my mind for 3 days till today, but I just read it Anyway it seemed like I had some control when I asked to babysit 2 children, but right now I am waiting for an answer. Hope the family asking for a babysitter wants to leave her babys to my hands even if I just have my good will, love and careness for children and babys, willing to do creative games with them, willing to learn things about
Well today seems to be a nice day, I just found sb asking for a babysitter through net, the hours and days I would really like to work. I gladly replied I want to keep their 2 children (boy 2, girl 5 years old) and now I am waiting for their reply. Hm, it seems strange they didn't reply yet. Like it seems they are not in a hurry. So I have never done something like this before, but I definately could use some extra money as I won't have any income from July and on till I find a job. So, this job
