I feel a little calmer than yesterday, but the anger is there still. The loneliness is there too, as usual, I don't think that will ever change unless I can learn how to connect with other people, or even to care about other people. At least I've got the pets.
I realized that going back on the birth control has caused me to gain some weight, not a lot yet but enough to make me aware of it. I know it's there, I can see and feel it, hoping this doesn't start something I can't control (either way). Also hoping it doesn't affect my moods again because being on birth control and bipolar might prove to be too much to handle again.
I cringed when one of my preschoolers hugged me, I almost started to cry. I knew it would be hard going back to working after being on disability (for psych issues) for so long, but not this hard. I'm worried I won't be able to handle it.