:(Let's start with the horrible. My BF's husband called and told me that she is in critical condition because she got loose from the restraints and truly did some damage to herself this time. He's beside himself I mean basket case crazy for cocopuffs if he doesn't find a way to get a grip he's gonna be right in there with her. I apologized again for my going off on him the one day and he says no it's ok it is his fault so I had to try to talk him into some sense he seemed to be feeling better after we talked and I made him promise to give his shrink a call and tell her what is going on. I mean she might have to up his anxiety meds or give him a little something to steady him up while this is going on.

The bad is my soon to be ex is freaking out and having a major melt down because I moved out and everything is gone and he has nothing left and I've already gotten 6 phonecalls 2nite with him bitching about stuff he has discovered is missing. I told him u were there when I was taking things out and since I am a meticulous book keeper I have receipts for everything I took and for a few things I decided he liked better than I did so screw it he can keep it. He said that the 3 guys that helped me move were giants and they made him feel like he couldn't say anything and the only reason I had gorillas like that move me was to threaten him. He's lost it I thik he's having some kinda breakdown and that's what made him want kids and has led us down this road I don't know for sure but damn he ain't right.

The good is my boss talked to the landlord at the apartments I was looking at and I get to move in this weekend instead of the 14th and they waived the security deposit so I only owe them for the first month's rent. I love my boss. The downside is I can't tell anyone here where I'm staying or what she's done for me and had her brother do bcuz it goes against the corporate conflict of interest clause. Managment is supposed to be cordial but not friendly to employees. Since she is the big boss here I mean she runs the main store and the gas station I know she's bucking for district manager I wouldn't want to do anything to get her in trouble. This weekend I'll b n my new home:D Now if I could just make some new friends I'd might be happyish.

:(I just can't help feeling like I'm a Jonah mayb I'm meant to be alone and people I care about will always die or go crazy until I finally accept that my place in the universe is solitary. Is it really fair of me to inflict myself on anyone else when I know that it's probably a death sentence for them IDK:(