okay - after my fall back today on this never ending struggle with food, I think I have come to a decision. The only thing that I can do is post it up for like one person to see - but that should be enough to hold me accountable. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow and then record that weight. I plan on losing 10 lbs of fat in 6 weeks. I will take measurements too but I don't own a tape measure at the moment. I'm going to get this workout program that includes one though - once I have that program in house, I'll take the measurements and post up on my blog as well. I'm so sick of being fat and pathetic. I can't stand myself but all I seem to do lately when I'm alone at night is cry and perhaps if I was super skinny - then I wouldn't feel that way. I would feel good about myself. At this point, it is war. All means necessary and I really don't care if it puts me in a hospital.

I showed this picture to my husband and called it my dream body. All he did was say 'ohyes, that's my dream body too' - not sure what he meant by that. I know he was trying to be funny but it wasn't funny and deep down inside, this is his perfect girl. Well, not this particular model, he likes that other beautiful brazilian girl from victoria secret but I guess their body types are one in the same.

anywho....so now I know what is expected of me. :eek: