Went to the hospital today for consultation 4 physical therapy and while I was there I stopped at the ICU and saw my friend. It just isn't right I don't even know if she knew I was there. They have here so doped up I dont' know if she even wakes up they have her hooked up to all this shit and have her secured at her wrists, stomach and ankles. Her arms r all bandaged up from where she cut them open her face is bandaged I didn't realize it but when he said she got loose last time and tried to kill herself she went through a glass door and cut herself up pretty bad but when they got to her she was tearing her arms up and I don't know what else it's hard to understand him sometimes. Her husband says she's been like that since the last time she woke up and tried to kill herself. He says right now they r keeping her under until her body has a chance to heal some that if she does more damage her body could just start to shut down and not fight. I didn't know what I expected when I went to see her hell I didn't even know if they would let me in but I happened to see her hubby in the lobby and went in with him but I didn't espect to see what I saw. She's just a shell. She looks so brittle is the only word I can think of and it's not right I was afraid to touch her because I thought she would break does that make sense. I had to leave pretty fast I just couldn't look at her and all the machines and think how pissed she must be. I did have agood talk with her husband and he was nice and gave me a lift home so I wouldn't have to wait for the bus(can't drive because of the pain meds and muscle relaxers). He liked the new apartment and offered to hook up surround sound 4 me(what is it with guys and being deafened by TV??) I told him thanks but the only thing I like loud is my music and I don't watch much TV. I think it was just good 4 him to be away from the hospital and home 4 awhile. He says when I feel up 2 it and get my ferrets I have 2 call so he can see them. I guess him and Mandy want a ferret too but right now her mom says no she hates them thinks they stink. I say they don't stink anymore than a cat if u have the scent glands removed and I think they have to remove them in order to be sold so I think her mom's nuts but then again she's told me on many occasions how insane her mom is so:rolleyes: I just wish she would share some of her pain I don't know y she holds on to it so tightly and let's it drag her so far down. I want her 2 wake up and things 2 b like they were only i want her to share and b better and I don't know how to help and I don't know what will b different when she wakes up what will stop her from trying again and again until she I just feel so useless and sad and just ate up I can't even begin to imagine how her husband feels and I just don't know