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Suicidal thoughts and mental noise



.... Is so much more apparent when you've had a break for a while. God it's weird how just one skipped dose can make all the symptoms come back. The thing is I don't have any plans to commit suicide so that isn't a worry. It is just that the constant thoughts of suicide interfere with my ability to concentrate. :confused:

Need to get work done though, and seroquel ain't helping me with that. Ironically I went to counseling for help with focus and they end up sending me to a shrink, who puts me on something that makes it harder to focus. :mad: This is doing nothing good for my paranoia, people. OTOH I need to travel in a couple weeks and have never been able to sleep on a plane. I reeeaaallly want to be able to use Seroquel as a sleep aid on the flight or I will be up for at least 28 hours straight. So if I get used to the med such that the drowsiness goes away, I'm pretty much screwed.

Yeah I know I need to do more meditation and stuff for the mental noise, but again, need to get work done. Fuuuuck me for deciding to do a dual for my masters degree. I'm too old for this. I don't want to be sick anymore.

On the bright side, rediscovered Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky.

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Hey sedsed thanks for replying to my highly agitated blog. I am in a much calmer place now and going back over it I realize I was feeling very wound up when I wrote that.

So about sleep aids, your recommendation is sensible, but in my experience normal sleep aids don't even calm me down when I try to sleep during a long flight.

The seroquel though seems to be 10x stronger in knocking me out so I was thinking this might be a solution. But I will talk to pdoc about this.

PS would you happen to know Unix by any chance? Just thought your name might be a reference to something I have used extensively at work. :)

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