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I decided it was time to blog. I need to vent and this seems the best way.

To Begin I will put forth the background to this all. I invite you all to comment your true feelings and ask questions. Please.

I am in my mid forties. My girlfriend, my partner is 19. Over three years ago I reached out to help her. I saw she was struggling and offered her someone to talk to. My experience with my depression showed me that generally only depressed people (or those who had been) could support other depressed people well. We began to talk and be became best friends and then we fell in love. She was over the age of consent, but not yet an adult. We both wanted this and so we looked into the law. From what we could see all was well. I was not an authority figure or someone in trust and she was not dependent on me.

We began to date quietly and spent as much time as we could. It didn't effect her school or my work and all was well.

My girlfriend has always had trouble with her family. She felt unloved and second best to her brother. When she was 14 she wanted to move out, but realized legally her parents could stop her. Now she chose to move out. She had a job and by taking more shifts could rent a room. We talked about the details and I was concerned the stress would be to much. I suggested she move in with me and my kids. She was reluctant as she didn't want to affect my relationship with them. In the long run she did move in and we lived together for about a year and a half. We were very happy. All of us. My kids, my gf and myself.

Then I was arrested. I won't go into the details. They are not important. What was important was no one complained. We were just noticed and investigated very briefly and I was arrested.

I was released on bail, but one of my conditions was I could not be with her or communicate with her. She was forced from her new home. She was forced to go out on her own. She was separated from the people who loved her and accepted her. It has been almost 1 and a half years.

The trial approaches and although I believe I will be found not guilty there is a real chance I will be convicted.


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They can and they did. She was 17 when I was charged, but she was always over the age of consent. It is a different law that is designed to stop exploitation.

We were stopped at an airport and questions were asked.

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Thanks Athena, I am sorry you are waiting as well.

I was finding for a little bit it got better because the time left seemed more bearable, but now as it closes in it is getting worse. I know there is a real chance I will be convicted even though all is well, and that really scares me.

What verdict are you waiting for?

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I have three at present (perhaps not technically "verdicts" but I view them as such). One - a lawsuit in which I am co-defendant with my employer (wrong place, wrong time, wrong client). Although I'm told i have a very good case - lots of notes, no wrongdoing by me, etc, losing would wipe me out several times over. It has been going on since 2006 and i'm told could drag on for 10 years.

This is complicated by number two - ongoing divorce proceedings in which my ex has threatened to get spousal support from ME. Just timing really. I had a good job at the time of the separation, he didn't. But that's only because he didn't want to work for a living - he has the exact same professional qualifications as me. To add insult to injury, I paid ALL the bills and ALL the childcare. The fact I can prove he wasn't a stay at home dad and made no contribution in time or money for five years is completely disregarded by the lawyers.

Three, a more recent problem - my employer is demanding all my disability income back over the past year because they found a loophole to get out of paying it. They admit I qualify medically, they just don't want to pay it. I saw this potential problem and addressed it up front with HR. I got the HR rep who I cleared it with on tape recently admitting we had the discussion up front that there would be no problem. My employer doesn't know this yet. I think I will catch them on tape trying to deny it and then I hope that will bury them.

I don't think any of this would result in jail time (unless I do something stupid and they throw me in jail for attempted suicide:confused:)

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