Frustration
I think one of my biggest frustrations is how this whole situation is questioning something so close to me, something so intimate, something I know is good and true and without gaining any real knowledge judging us and through that judging has caused us to be apart, has caused me to lose my job, has caused massive stress to both of us and our families.
All this for something I know is right. We know is right. I am the last person to harm someone or to take advantage of them. I always give people choices and my girlfriend even though depressed is one of the strongest willed people I know. She is intelligent, determined, stubborn and skeptical.
It is hard when people attack something so powerful in your life. It is horrible when people say things like, it is hard to defend you when this was a long on-going relationship that you show no remorse for. Why would I show remorse for such a wonderful relationship. They refuse to listen to any real details. All they need to know is my age, her age, the nature of the relationship and the fact she had emotional issues. Once they know that there is not more to hear. I am a monster. It must be exploitive.
And so far I have not really been able to even try to defend myself. I must patently wait while the justice system screws things up, fails to deliver a summons that delays the whole case 5-6 months. I must wait while the prosecution delays and delays in giving us full disclosure. I must wait as I read messed up summaries of interviews.
I am tired of waiting. I am tired of people picking at something so significant in my life without even looking at the details.
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