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Decent day


Ralph

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Feel normal for a change. Kind of still have the automatic thoughts in the background but I am not as riled up about them as I previously was. Had some pretty intense dreams last night but it felt like I was sort of reorganizing my mental space; bringing order to the chaos. It felt really good.

I still don't see any performance improvement (taking 2.5 hours to shower dress & shave still) and am still terribly absent minded, but I was able to go to the gym today, which is something that has been an overwhelming task for the past few months, and I am also cooking again. I stopped cooking when I got really bad because I just couldn't motivate myself to even boil water. I couldn't think about the steps involved, either, so I wouldn't even know where to start. At least I can cook pasta now. I screwed up some of the steps but the fact that I am able to risk making those mistakes in the first place is progress.

I even got the idea to maybe do parts of my morning routine the night before so that it doesn't take so long. That is the type of time management stuff that was simply not part of the set of things that would ever enter my mind when I was in the depths of whatever the heck is wrong with me.

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