Happy 2011!

I am alone right now. I decided to spend the evening on my own. My fiancé went to his friend's place, and I wasn't interested in a house party. And I have decided I'm not longer doing things I don't want to do. But he visited me today. Yesterday, we spoke a bit and I told him I was feeling down, and he said "I know you're feeling bad right now, but in the words of Randy Newman, You've Got a Friend In Me, ok?". That was sweet of him, since he's going through his own issues right now, and he's being so supportive.

Since we weren't going to be together this evening, he actually suprised me at my apartment on his lunch hour...said i sounded like I needed a hug when we spoke yesterday. That really cheered me up. Actually, he came by again after work and I got another hug. It's been a while since I've been hugged. I've socially isolated myself lately.

I have to say, i'm not crying like I thought I would be...alone on New Years Eve. But it's a day like any other actually. Only I'm sipping a glass of champagne But oddly enough, I am not alone at all. I don't feel remotely alone. My fiancé texted me a few times which was nice...and i've been chatting with my sister on MSN for 3 hours now. It's nice to catch up. I really miss her. And it's nice to take some time to myself...I cleaned the apartment today...something i hadn't done in months...it's looking liveable now. And now i'm relaxing with my two beautiful cats waiting for "the ball to drop" so to speak. And I know that even if people aren't here with me, they do care.

I'm at peace with myself right now. It might only last a few minutes, hours....but that's ok. It's still progress. Hey, maybe 2011 won't be as bad I thought?

Best wishes for the new year!

Cass