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It's a good day today


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I woke up today feeling more refreshed than I have in a while. I checked my phone messages, as I do every morning when I get up. I got one from my fiancé saying that I had "made his day" by providing him with some new music albums I had just bought and that he was feeling really happy today. It made me smile to know that it brought him some happiness, considering how depressed he's been. I smiled to myself.

Things have been going very well this week, so I thought I'd share, because I'm so surprised myself. After a bad start to the year I didn't think things were going to look up for a long time.

First off, I received a letter of offer for a new job this week. I am so miserable in my current job and the management treat me so poorly, so this couldn't have come at a better time. I start in 2 weeks! I am excited and scared because it's completely new to me (I work in goods procurement, and I am moving to services procurement), but most of all I am happy and welcoming the change.

Second, my fiancé and I have done a lot of talking lately (for the past month or so) and we've decided to continue with our wedding plans. We are working very hard on communication and affection. It seems that we both had made a lot of assumptions about our relationship and what we thought each other wanted. So I am glad we cleared that up. So the past week has been very good for us. He surprised me with dinner this week, which almost never happens (he lacks confidence in the kitchen since no one has ever taught him to cook) and it was really good. This weekend, he's taking me for breakfast. I am thoroughly enjoying our time together. I've missed this.

Lastly, I feel good. I feel confident. I'm working very hard at allowing myself to feel my emotions and to deal with my emotional baggage. I'm also telling myself that I am not a bad person and that I am not inferior. My therapist sees progress. I feel like we've made imense progress in the past 2 months.

So this morning, I am off work today, and I am listening to The Black Keys, reading the paper, drinking my coffee, and relaxing with my cats, and well, taking time for myself. :)

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I realize I haven't posted much lately :o I've been so busy, but things are going well actually!

I started a new job! And I'm very happy. I haven't felt this content in a very long time. I'm finally in a job where I feel respected and appreciated. Plus, the environment is very light and fun. We work hard, but we do lots of social things. I can't remember the last time any management figure has asked me to join them for coffee, or the last time a birthday was acknowledged at work. But this place celebrates everything, and I think that's lovely. I need more celebration in my life!

As for me and my fiance, we are doing well. Things got very rocky, but we're pulling through and stronger than ever. We're finalizing wedding plans :P !

Of course, there's my mom. :( Still lots of issues there. Unfortunately, her mother (my grandmother) passed away recently which was hard one her, however I feel like she's using that to manipulate me and to make me feel guilty about not checking up on her. I got a bit of a break from her for a few weeks, but she called me last week and lectured me about not calling her. She accused me of not caring. I actually stood up for myself miraculously. I told her how I was feeling and how she has been hurting me. I reminded her that she really angered me over the holidays, and that every time I do call her, she makes me feel guilty or tells me about all the issues she has with my father. Of course she refuses to take responsibility for anything, and denies ever putting me in a position "between" her and my father, but that's ok. It was a baby step in my recovery from depression. I felt so good after confronting her.

Thanks for checking up on me LaLa...I really appreciate it and it brought a smile to my face today :)

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Thank you for your good news!!! :( I'm so happy for you!

A good working environment is very important, I know. And you spend much more time there than with your mother, so... at least in this regard you can take it positively: The good things dominate :P.

Good luck with your wedding plans! It seems that your family doesn't interfere there - and that's a big advantage. We had a very very stressful time while planing our wedding, as my in-laws wanted to decide almost everything and there were many quarrels. (Fortunately, now we are fine with them...)

You made me smile today, too :o. Thank you again...

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