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Out of Myself


malign

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I find I have to keep focusing on getting out of myself.

It's especially difficult on weekends. I tend to hide in bed and read and doze. I talk myself into believing there's no point in doing more. That there isn't anything I can do that's more ... what, entertaining, fun, valuable? ... than that.

Thankfully, my brother called me both Saturday and Sunday, both beautiful days, and talked me into going out on Sunday. Even though I was still alone, and had to walk everywhere, it was much better for me than staying home.

I need to keep doing things for myself, even if they do seem trivial at the time. Just the act of, say, getting up a bit earlier in the morning and showering helps to fight the depression, the feeling that it won't matter anyway.

It does matter! So that's my goal: leave the longer-term things alone and focus on every day.

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