Well, the second lawyer I tried was much more approachable. With my dad's financial help, I retained her.
I also got to spend the rest of the day with my dad, with whom I've spent very little time since getting married. He was very supportive, and helped rid me of a lot of my money worries.
Not all of them, though: according to the lawyer, I may be on the hook for spousal support of more than half my take-home pay, which along with the mortgage, would probably prohibit me from moving out. I'm going to have to negotiate with my wife; it's the only way.
Then, around 9:30 pm last night, my wife knocked on my bedroom door and told me that someone from the county social services was on their way over to talk to me. She has been calling all around, including the police in the city where I work, social services, my direct supervisor, and so on. She's apparently telling them that I haven't been eating and might be considering hurting myself or her or, you name it. So, a pair of social workers talked to me for an hour last night, starting around 9:45. Questions ranged from why am I losing weight to are there any firearms in the house.
Of course, when they finally left, I'm sure they were reassured. The question remains, whether my wife will keep this up, and what exactly to do about it, if so. I've already warned her that I will consider it harassment.