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Keeping track


Ralph

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So depression got worse; I freaked out and went back up on the seroquel to my prescribed dose of 150mg for the past two nights. Also been having problems with anxiety due to job search.. More on that later but don't have time to go into that now. Feeling more like a zombie again. I'm really sick of this med but my pdoc would probably only put me on another zombification med since she seems so committed to the Anti-Depressant + mood stabilizer approach

I'm really weirded out by the disparity between my moods. Sometimes I feel okay and that I can solve my problems, other times I feel like it's hopeless. Before I went on meds the second state was where I spent most of my time with only occasional times of optimism. Crap this Seroquel is even making me a worse writer. I'm having difficulty finding the right words. Anyway after meds I feel optimistic more often and when I do feel down it seems more like an emotion than a characteristic of the universe.

That said I don't feel I've made progress regarding what I sought treatment for in the first place. Still having concentration & organization problems and can't even finish a routine such as getting ready in the morning without ~2 hrs worth of detours. Luckily my classes start at 10:00 right now but it is scary to think how will I be able to hold a job if I'm still like this after graduation? Seroquel makes me want to stare off into space most of the time and as such my daydreaming is significantly more of a time waster for me.

Need to figure out how to be productive without wanting to do myself in. On the bright side I feel like I don't have anything to lose. I've been so close to ending it before that failure can be no worse then putting me back to that space, and if I succeed I might start to believe that things are okay. Guess a significant part of my problem is worrying too much. How to turn that off?

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I've been recently recommended Seroquel and am still considering it. It is too bad it is not helping with organization and concentration for you. I find that when I'm too low, I don't have any energy to do anything physical or mental. When I'm too anxious, my thoughts are very disorganized and I can't concentrate on anything. The rare times that I am between extremes, I would seem to be completely normal. I find that structure and deadlines help as long as they don't cause my anxiety levels to ramp up too high. I think it's really important not to bite off more than you can chew for this reason. So, how to stop worrying so much? I thought Seroquel was supposed to help with that. Perhaps a talk with your Doctor is in order?

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Seroquel helped me considerably in the beginning but it's kind of like giving up 20 IQ points in return.

It's really for schizophrenia, but is used off label for bipolar and unipolar depression in combination with an antidepressant. It has greatly reduced my anxious automatic thoughts, but if anything has reduced my capacity to organize my normal thoughts - such as would be used when making a to-do list, grocery list, or deciding how to schedule tasks so as to coordinate with others.

I will definitely discuss this with my pdoc next time I see her. It might work better for bipolar depression, so if your doc is recommending it to you I'd say to make sure there is a plan in place for how & when you'll get off of it before you start taking it.

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He's recommending it as a "Major Tranquilizer" if that is still a category, to reduce my reliance on Ativan (minor tranquilizer). So I guess it's a matter of which is the lesser of two evils (I know, that doesn't sound very optimistic). I'm running out of Ativan so I guess I'll give it a try and cross my fingers.

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I've only been prescribed Ativan for short term but from what I hear benzodiazepines can be pretty rough on the system with long term use. I'd say Seroquel is majorly tranquilizing for sure. ;-)

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