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In R Tick U L8


malign

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I realize that I haven't been talking about much of a personal nature, for quite a long time.

I know it's going to sound weird, but part of it is that I know how many people care about me, here. I expect them to want to offer sympathy, and that's not what I feel I need. Now, maybe they need to offer it, and that's not wrong. Maybe I just don't want to distract them from people who need it more? I don't know.

Things are progressing, in little steps.

The move went off okay; fairly flawlessly, in fact. About the worst thing I can think of is that my bed doesn't seem to fit up the stairs, so I set it up in the living room, instead. For a guy who has lived without any living room furniture at all for two years, this is not really a hardship.

I had some brief contact with the wife, for a while. She even sounded like she would accept being served papers, assuming it could be done without making a scene. However, she also seemed to believe that she was being harassed and even her computer hacked, by people I had hired, which was obviously not true. So ... instead of accepting the papers, she shut off her phone and e-mail (obviously changed to other accounts), so I no longer have a way to contact her.

But, I should soon be able to dispose of the car we own jointly (its lease is up soon), which will free up even more money. I might finally be able to start paying back what my Dad lent me (he probably will refuse, but at least I could.) The divorce can't last forever, even if she hides, and selling the house is the last big financial thing binding us.

I still avoid things I have to do, and I'm still going to therapy every other week to try to change. My work still sucks, and it seems to be in ever more uncertain financial health, so I might have to go job-hunting.

All in all, I guess it's going okay.

See you all next time.

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I know it's going to sound weird' date=' but part of it is that I know how many people care about me, here. I expect them to want to offer sympathy, and that's not what I feel I need. Now, maybe they need to offer it, and that's not wrong. Maybe I just don't want to distract them from people who need it more? I don't know.[/quote']

Could you possibly be confusing sympathy with support? It's true that friends do want to support one another. Is it uncomfortable to accept? Just wondering.

I'm glad you updated us about your situation. I'm sorry things are rough right now. Money struggles suck. :D I hope things improve for you, Mark.

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Mark, I see how you feel about posting about yourself in times like these; I have similar thoughts and doubts quite often :D. I have a little remark about it :(:

Even if we look apart from your need to post here also about your problems, difficulties, sad moods, struggles, ... (and the will of others to support and/or comfort you that you've mentioned), there is also another reason to do it: It's better for people who receive support from you (and haven't read many of your older posts and blogs about you) to see that "you're also human and not a "superhuman" who lives in an ideal world and has no problems" - you give also by this a good example that somebody who has his own problems and also has quite bad experiences with some people, can see the world and people as you do and be as you are. Hiding the dark sides of your own life here would not be a good way. I'm sure you know all this and could formulate it much better than me, but I still wanted to mention it :)...

I hope you'll feel better than "okay" soon... :(

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Guest SomethingOrOther

Posted

I don't know if it's the seminar on self-marketing coming through, but a bed in the living room, isn't that.. avant-garde?

What do you feel you need?

I'd assume this is all rather annoying, irritating and tedious, but if you say it's "okay", I suppose I have to take your word on it.

Take care

S.

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And... may I have a question... about the title :o? "It seems" I'm quite bad at riddling this kind of wordplays. I can only guess that L8 means "late", I know that R is used for "are" and U for "you", but the whole title doesn't make sense to me, as I miss some parts...

P.S.: And the word tick has 23 meanings in the on-line dictionary that I use... ;) (How typical for English!!! *sigh* ;))

P.P.S.: Oh, this is the 1111th comment on your blog!!! :)

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LaLa: the whole title is one word; I tend to mess with my titles because I dislike things that only have one meaning (I'm not deliberately making it harder for you). The word I was going for is "inarticulate": unable to put things into words. Oh, and I thought people would know I wasn't a superhamster by my lack of a cape. :-)

SoO: Okay, now that's positive thinking. :-)

Perhaps I'm exploring the concept of furniture minimalism instead of living like a monk. Mmm, oh yeah, it's annoying and tedious; it's only okay because it's what I have to do, right now. It's not what I would choose to do, if I had complete freedom (and a wand.)

Beth: I'm not sure if it's a difficulty accepting support. I already know that my friends support me, after all. I think I just don't want them to misinterpret a status report as a request for help.

Financially, things are actually improving: I'm saving an apartment rent by living in the house, and I'll be down a car payment when the lease ends. That was part of the motivation for moving, and maybe the biggest sign of progress, at the moment.

Sed: It's not as bad as it sounds, or at least not as bad as you seem to think. At least I'm not still living with someone who enjoyed putting me down all the time {or maybe rather than "enjoyed", I should say "felt a need". I don't think she was evil, just not very good company.}

Thank you all for caring. :-)

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I couldn't suppose you were "making it harder for me"! (I only could suppose that you considered me to be smart enough (as SoO) to understand ;). But seriously: I know there isn't any connection between your titles and me...)

I like all kinds of wordplays (I just prefer them in my mother tongue...) and I understand that you choose such titles :o.

P.S.: Oh, and... I'd call you Superhamster since now ;) (No... I will not. It's better than malign in my eyes (because of the medical/biological connotations), but... I prefer Mark :)...)

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LaLa, if you want puns in tongues, you'll have to teach them to me! :-) I speak good French and some Spanish, and a few words of lots of other languages including Japanese, so it would be interesting to try a Slavic language. Too many decorated letters for me to learn it easily, though, I expect.

I'm not sure I like hamsters much: we had a few, when I was a child. Strong tendency to eat their young, at least in confinement ...

I like Mark, too! :-)

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Guest SomethingOrOther

Posted

(I only could suppose that you considered me to be smart enough (as SoO) to understand ;).

Oh, I'm sure there has been a slight mistake in the translation. When you say "smart", you must clearly mean "stubborn". ;)

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Oh, I'm sure there has been a slight mistake in the translation. When you say "smart", you must clearly mean "stubborn". :D

Well, maybe, but this is a special, useful and smart, type of stubbornness! :(

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