Rejected for my dream job at the not so dream company. Well crap, back to the drawing board. I put a ton of effort into this though and was really planning on getting this job so both my ego and budget are suddenly deflated. Not having anything better to rely on, I'm back on the bottle, but I only had one drink last night. Over the weekend though I had about 20 drinks. Crap crap crap I used to not understand how people could put away a fifth of vodka every day but now I'm not so far off from that.

I've physically adapted to alcohol so that if I don't drink even on seroquel I will wake up in the middle of the night with my brain at 7000 RPMs. Last night I took a sleeping pill though on top of the seroquel and slept fine at the expense of a sleeping pill hangover plus the seroquel numbness.

I just joined a gym. I need to lose some weight and I am hoping that the cost of the membership will persuade me to not drink. It's roughly the same amount as I've been spending on booze per month, but I still feel like drinking.