Hey Flow,

Yay, I can comment! :-)

"Hope was still there" and "not meant for relationships" don't sound very hopeful. I think we're all meant for relationships; we can't help it, as long as there are other people around, anywhere. In other words, it's not a pain you can choose not to feel.

What I don't understand, from this, is how you got from a vision of what you need/want in a relationship, which sounds like a very positive exercise, to the conclusion that you came to. Do you think your vision can't exist, or that it just doesn't exist right now?

Plus, I don't see a sub-title. And as cryptic as this is, I think I could use sub-titles. :-) But remember, even when I don't understand every word, I'm still with you.

My buttons have been on, so it could have been "hellenlove" scorned.

I still have those needs/wants/visions, but the title changed out of frustrations....which led to a fierce need of protection due to doubt and fear of events/actions in the present, which eventually led to a triggering of a past timeline of events/reactions all the while trying to make the vision the verbal. Very fucked up indeed. Excuse the 4 letter, but it's appropriate.

I can't remember my sub-title, and it's in my journals out in the vehicle. I never shared it with anyone, but I will you later....

I too find that sense of unrest, that, that which is can never be that which is until it is.... We are being temporary beings in this earth school, although we are aware of this... we still can't seem to cease the homesickness; no-thing here is what we know it is. Until we let go of wanting, this is all we will experience--- (the WANT-of-ThINGs) We need to experience just being, then all things will be. I am because we are. I am only concious of myself when I am observed by others to be effecting the collective reality, We are concious of our existence because of the observation of the all which is greater.

We are , because I am. Seek not that which is without, look for that which is. We're just here to experience who we are by observing ourselves as being. Who are you being? Who are you?