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What the Hell??


Solstice

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So...this morning's therapy session:

Me: I'm really upset. This morning, my husband was talking about what a selfish, self-centered person I am. And he's right. All I do is think about my thoughts and my feelings and how much I hurt, and then I lash out at him and treat him like crap. I keep acting like a person I don't want to be, and I can't seem to stop.

Her (clearly upset): I'm concerned about whether you can be safe.

Me: I don't understand. I'm perfectly safe. I'm just really hurting and lashing out at the people around me and I hate myself for not stopping.

Her (even more upset): I think you should consider inpatient treatment.

Me: Why? Do I need medication? Intensive therapy sessions? Multiple therapy sessions per week?

Her: No. I just want you to have a break.

Me: So you want me to put my job at risk and spend thousands of dollars I don't have to take a break?

Her: I just feel so bad about how you are hurting. You're so triggered by the things around you.

Me: But those triggers will still be there when I come back, won't they?

Her: Yes.

Me: Then what will inpatient do?

Her: It's just a break.

OK...I'm sorry...I just don't get this anymore. I don't see how taking a break from my life will help me. I need to learn how to live in the day-to-day world, not run away from it. Don't get me wrong -- I understand that inpatient can be an amazing thing for people in need of intense care, medication management, all that good stuff. But I just need to learn to grow up and deal with my life. However, when I'm honest about the things I'm dealing with, my therapist gets emotional and suggests inpatient (not the first time she's done so).

So frustrated. I don't know what to do. I feel like she and I are speaking two different languages. Or in two different rooms trying to talk to each other.

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Hi Solstice,

Hun, Im so sorry - I understand :( :(

Its so bloody damn un-fair that you have to watch what you say coz of fear of how emotional your Therapist gets.

Psychiatric hospital can be useful - for those that can heal in that sort of environment, sometimes though it can make things worse - not always, just sometimes.

You are Grown-up - sheeze your holding down a full time job, finacially supporting your husband and household. You dont get more grown up than that hun. Yeah obviously your hurting and have a lot of emotional stuff to work through, its hard for you. Maybe if people understood all you had to deal with they would be a little more considerate of your feelings, and try an show a little more understanding. That in itself would probably help you loads.

hmmm, sorry, I kinda get really P'd when Therapists dont LISTEN to what your trying to say and just suggest 'a break' in hospital. Hospital is NO place to rest. And if you had that sort of money spare Im sure you'd go on holiday :)

Ooops sorry if Ive said anything I shoulnt of done. Kinda not long been out of a meeting with my Therapist - I need to go calm down myself :o

Wheres that chocolate ???? ...............

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Thanks for understanding, Sue. I don't feel much like anyone else does. My husband doesn't understand why I can't just stop over-reacting to my emotions every ten seconds, and my therapist doesn't understand why I don't just accept that I do that and...well, that's about it for people in my life I can talk to. So it's nice to hear someone tell me they get where I'm coming from. :(

And yeah, I'm a grown up, but I sure don't act like one. :eek:

More important, how are you?? Heard your therapist said he'd come back and see you. Did he? Was he more useful this time (fingers crossed)?

Chocolate...that's the answer. Have a huge bag under my desk, but its' not Cadbury's. :)

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Ooooooo - look ..... special delivery for Solstice

Cadbury-Van---Egg-cadbury-478113_1024_768.jpg

Incoming, hope it fits under your desk !!!......................

cadburys-chocolate-deluxe-easter-hamper.jpg

Your an adult and mature in all the ways that matter - being a grown up however is over rated - I refuse to grow up - till Ive had a LOT of fun :)

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Your not odd - your unique - its a pity there wasnt a lot more unique people around, then us unique people would fit in :)

Yeah right - who wants to be like everyone else - that would be boring !!!! :(

I say go for it - if nothing else it will give the people who have to watch the security cameras for a living, a good laugh, and brighten there otherwise boring day :(

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Hi Sue...I did manage to restrain myself from licking the computer, though I feel the urge returning. :D And my day at work, continuing into today, was funny and horrible at the same time. Might write a blog on it. Sometimes my life is awfully surreal. :confused:

Pseud, thanks for the kind words. Since I now have an idea of what you were going through last night when you wrote them, it means all the more to me that you took the time.

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Hey - now that is self restraint !!!!! :)

Ohhhh, I look forward to reading your new blog entry then :)

Patience seriously Im really really good at - you'll be pleased to here :)

Is yer new blog entry wrote yet ?

How about now :D

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Wow...you're as patient as I am. :)

Don't know if I'll get the blog done today...work is driving me crazy. Plus, I should probably wait for the full fallout of what I've done before writing about it (how's that for a tease?). :D

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Yeah patience is a virtue - and obviously we have it :)

Oooohhh - thats a good tease :D

Hope your okay - gosh you havnt caught me of my hypers have ya - and done something as daft as what I do at times ? :eek:

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I don't know yet whether I did something daft or brilliant. Short story is that I basically snapped and refused to suck up to the most abusive person in the company after I'd been told I needed to do that to get a promotion (long story is more interesting, but I figured I could not tease forever, especially if I'm not going to blog about it today :D). Guess time will tell whether I just lost my job and don't know it yet. :eek:

How are you doing today? Hopefully at least a little less angry? Though I stand by my belief that you had/have every right to be angry. :)

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Oh well good for you !!!!!!

I hate it when someone thinks its ok to suck up to anyone - especially a big mouthed bully !!!!!!

MShippo3792.jpg

Hope it made you feel good about yourself to stick up for your self values - I am extremely proud of you !!! :D

[hope your job is safe - i will keep my fingers crossed]

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