I Want [triggering!]
I want to figure out the precise combination of xanax and wine that will let me just sleep, deeply and dreamlessly and for a long, long time. But I don't.
I want to scream at everyone around me to shut up, to leave me alone. But I don't.
I want to push something sharp into the skin of my arm and feel all the pain in my mind and my heart and my soul collect there and flow out of me. But I don't.
I want to beg someone, anyone, to care about me. But I don't.
I want to start crying, and never stop. But I don't.
I want to give up, stop trying, stop failing, stop everything. But I don't.
When do I get what I want?
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