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I Want [triggering!]


Solstice

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I want to figure out the precise combination of xanax and wine that will let me just sleep, deeply and dreamlessly and for a long, long time. But I don't.

I want to scream at everyone around me to shut up, to leave me alone. But I don't.

I want to push something sharp into the skin of my arm and feel all the pain in my mind and my heart and my soul collect there and flow out of me. But I don't.

I want to beg someone, anyone, to care about me. But I don't.

I want to start crying, and never stop. But I don't.

I want to give up, stop trying, stop failing, stop everything. But I don't.

When do I get what I want?

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sorry things are so frigging harsh for you Solstice, kinda wish I knew of something to say that would help you feel a little better, or knew of something stupid to type to put a smile on your face even if momentarily.

but Im guessing sometimes there just isnt the words.

{{{{hugs dear friend}}}}

hope things become easier for you soon :)

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Just seeing you back on here and talking to us put a smile on my face, so you've succeeded. :)

And what's going on with me doesn't begin to compare with what you're dealing with. Please take care of yourself. I'm thinking of you.

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