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It's alright


Ralph

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Results of a few experiments:

Going back on meds - felt better. (Shocker, right?)

Facing some stuff I'd been procrastinating - not good. Depression came back. Normal though. Feels good to be making progress, still waiting to see if feeling good for being responsible outweighs the initial discomfort of getting started. Probably will, since competence is a personal value of mine.

Have to keep reminding myself it won't happen overnight. I'm still making progress but I want to be perfect tomorrow. I'd never really challenged myself before so I'm learning responsibility and consequences later than I should. Better late than never though. Can't seem to shake the desire to escape though. I'm good at that.

Had some cravings to drink today but not bad. Now I'd rather have root beer. Bunch of calories and sugar but at least it's not alcohol.

Ate an actual meal today with protein and carbohydrates and a little vegetables. Don't much care for cooking in the summer because it heats up the house and AC bill already insanely high. So I moved from beer and pretzels and frozen food to fruits and cereal. Now experimenting with chicken. Not easy and really slow progress, but I got more done today than last Saturday, and I didn't drink.

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It's a pleasure to read your blog, Ralph! I have a crazy - but maybe it's not crazy! :P - idea: You could (after some months / a year / ?) make a book from your blog - I believe it would be a very motivating and inspirating book with a happy ending. A diary showing how one can deal with such problems and how a strong will and a very rational approach can make changes. The cartoon / joke about success from your previous blog post could be on it's cover :D...

Fruits and cereals - what a good choice!

Do you search for recipes on the web? There are also many video-recipes on YouTube (and probably other sites) - it could be helpful when learning to cook some more "non-trivial" meals... And, BTW, the probably easiest way to do some chicken is to buy chicken breast, slice them i to small pieces and fry them in a pan - if you have a good pan, you don't need almost any oil (or you can also add a bit of water) - you can add some herbs... (Sorry, I hope you don't mind this topic here... :()

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Do you search for recipes on the web? There are also many video-recipes on YouTube (and probably other sites) - it could be helpful when learning to cook some more "non-trivial" meals...

I try to search recipes but I don't follow recipes very well, which is part of why people tend to think I have ADHD or something. I start with the recipe, but then improvise based on what's available. Cooking basic chicken breasts is the next frontier I am trying to get comfortable with. :P

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I try to search recipes but I don't follow recipes very well [...] I start with the recipe, but then improvise based on what's available.

:( It doesn't have to be ADHD :P. I do the same, on purpose! More precisely, I read several recipes and then I do it my way :o. Don't you like the creative part of cooking? Maybe once when you'll be more familiar with some basic rules, then you'll be able to enjoy doing it your way. (Maybe I can compare it to learning writing - we have to know the alphabet, the orthography, the grammar, just then we can enjoy writing... poems, for instance :D.)

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I do the same thing but it's not on purpose :P I tried to force myself to follow a recipe today and ended up cooking a microwave dinner instead. I have to break down into cook chicken, do something else, cook rice, do something else, etc. This is when I'm glad I live alone because it tends to not go over so well with significant others. :cool:

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