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do people EVER say what they mean ?



You know how it goes - a person will say something to you - yet say something entirely different to another, about the same situation.

Or act one way to your face - then go right on ahead and stab yer in the back when they THINK that you cant find out - HA, people ALWAYS find out.

Its part of human nature - were curious, to seek the truth - whatever that truth may or may not actually be, whether it hurts or not....

...... And we DO eventually, find this stuff out. ALWAYS !!! :(

Classic example....

CPN, reckons I have to go back inside for a 'few days rest', well thats how she words it to me.....

Then she goes into another of my rooms to make 'that' call to get me admited - and I overhear the woman. Back stabbing, two faced cow :mad:

Why not just tell me as it is ??? Im gonna find out soon enough any how - seriously :mad:

Life is full of the people who deliver the BS, an Im so sick of 'em.

If your a liar - great good for you go ahead and be one.

If your a two faced son of a bitch - yay - even thats cool.

But dont be like that toward me !!! I dont want or need that SHIT anymore.



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I'm sorry she's lying to you sue. You know the reason is simply that she doesn't want to upset you, even if it's perhaps misguided. I know this is frustrating.

do you need a voodoo doll, or are hugs ok?


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hmmm, thanks little bro - chocolate always helps - though admitidly I dont eat it anymore.

and Beth - its not just the nurse thats upset me - its other things/people too. I just dont get how or why people are so bloody two faced and spiteful - yet pretend to your face that they like you.

think things are just getting to me - that normally woulnt ya know.

too much BS, from each time I went down home, so much back stabbing and blatant nastyness, and thats from so called 'proper' (HA bloody HA) siblings.

Maybe part of the reason Ive hit the rails a little recently - I KNOW what people are really like - and in a way its refreshing to deliberately hook up with people that are just who they want to be - without being ashamed of who they are and what they do.

Just I have to be completely Out Of It - to be around them - coz like thats the only way I could go through with the shit I deliberately put myself through lately - that and well, it stops me thinking too damn much. Shit I need to be numb again so much right now - I hate it when the feelings and thoughts come back - too intense :)

Keep playing this song at the mo - I fin it funny - even if the frigging CPN dont.


have to go shortly - just waiting for my bed to become available.

Oh an sorry for being so blunt recently - just me being me I guess.

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sue, those songs made me laugh! I'm so glad you still have your sense of humor.

Thinking of you...hoping things are going ok. Hoping to hear from you soon.

{{{{{{{{{more BUG hugs}}}}}}}}}}}} (typo intentional :))

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Sue...other people, and the games they play because of their issues, are just about the hardest thing to deal with in the world. I'm sorry you're feeling it so intensely right now.

Take good care of yourself. ((((hugs))))

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Thanks little bro, Solstice and big sis :o

its kinda wierd, heads all over today and cant really keep my thoughts on a level keel :)

Last night was just frigging insane - literally. And this morn aint much better - not so sure I wanna be here - or need to be here. I feel perfectly flipping 'rested' - and I need to LEAVE..... NOW !!!

Yeah I know like thats gonna happen today. Already been told that.

Keep thinking 'bout stuff, but whats the point in that - it dont change nout, not a damn thing. And that kinda SUCKS, a lot........ :D

Still, hey, hum, hoddle hum, and all that jazz - Theres always tomorrow - and maybe just maybe I woulda met the escape commity by then :D

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Old habbits die hard - I do solemly declare - I am up to NO good :mad:

SHIT week.

SHIT month.

SHIT year.

It all kinda hurts, and yet again Im going down kicking and screaming - coz what else am I gonna do ? .....

Say nothing?

Do nothing?

Yeah I bloody well think NOT.

So much for having a rest in hospital - Ive never been busier.

Gotta love the internet :o

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Thanks finding :o

Im fine - I think. Well thats what I keep telling myself. Theres just ALWAYS something.

Its National Adoption Week, over here ......... And the two faced lying ignoramus (ignorant - maybe) polititions are doing my frigging head in. Guess its hit me really hard this year :mad:

This country is so damn nieve - as to the truth of a lot of the adoptions.........

Yep I know there is a lot of kids out there waiting to find loving families - its understandable. But what about the kids that are legally stolen FROM loving families ???? Yeah NO politition will EVER admit that that is still happening in jolly old England - why would they - they would lose their precious jobs, for speaking out :o

Lots to try and do today - tryna fit it all in around what Im meant to be doing - not easy when nurses keep bugging me to go to the groups or do this that and the other. It'd be much easier if they just let me go home :)

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thanks big sis :o

I might be allowed home on thursday after ward round - thank goodness - any longer in here an Im gonna drive myself completely insane - HA, like any one would notice - its kinda common place on this ward :o

On a plus got confirmation that a newspaper is gonna run my story - so thats kinda hopeful. See the reporter on friday morning - so I really do NEED to be out of hospital on Thursday.

Maybe just maybe this all messed up shit will find a way of working out and hopefully I wont get my ass arrested for speaking out. Thats a whole lot of hoping on the go there. Still fingers (and toes) crossed :)

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