Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Blog Ralph

  • entries
    280
  • comments
    998
  • views
    4,405

goals experiment check in 3 - success


Ralph

46 views

 Share

Just played through whole song well enough to carry the part within a band, as in I could play it tonight if I got on stage. Therefore I consider this goal accomplished.

Now about the experiment - how does it feel to accomplish a goal. I felt pretty good a couple days ago when I realized I would probably succeed. Now, however, it's mere relief that I didn't fail. In essence no sense of accomplishment aside from avoidance of the pain of regret.

Maybe I need to accomplish bigger goals. Maybe goal directed behavior doesn't happen to be rewarding for me. Wonder if the latter would be a problem. It probably would be, since it leads to not accomplishing stuff and then there is the pain of regret. So I need to work my butt off just to feel... meh (Not good, not bad). If that's not depression in itself, then it's probably a lot of the reason I have to drag myself through the day.

 Share

2 Comments


Recommended Comments

One thought I had was to wonder how you made the transition from feeling good about yourself to just feeling lucky you didn't fail. Who was whispering in your ear that wore the accomplishment down to the bare metal?

The other thing, when your goal was mastery of something like a musical performance, would be to play it now for your own enjoyment, or possibly even for others'. Now that all the focus on it as a goal, the pressure, is gone, you still have a visible or at least audible accomplishment that you can take out and look at whenever you want. Or were you just going to discard it again and move on? Aren't we as humans at least partly aggregates of our set of accomplishments, in which case discarding them is a waste of ourselves?

I guess what I'm asking about is whether you value yourself the way you deserve, separately from your accomplishments. If you don't, how would you value the accomplishments the way they deserve?

Link to comment
Who was whispering in your ear that wore the accomplishment down to the bare metal?

I'm not aware of any cognitions or self talk that caused the shift. I think it was simply time.

Now that all the focus on it as a goal' date=' the pressure, is gone, you still have a visible or at least audible accomplishment that you can take out and look at whenever you want. Or were you just going to discard it again and move on?

[/quote']

Not discard. I am learning other music now and still working on perfecting the song. It is good enough now but I would like to get it very close.

I guess what I'm asking about is whether you value yourself the way you deserve' date=' separately from your accomplishments. If you don't, how would you value the accomplishments the way they deserve?[/quote']

I do not value myself separately from achievement. Accomplishments or contributions to others are the only basis that I have for building any self worth. How I value my accomplishments is not really working out as this experiment showed. I haven't felt accomplished in a long time all though I've racked up some achievements that are impressive to others.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...