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Blog Kayla

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sdhkasbdnlajso... ugh.



Really... I just want things to be ok.

Tonight my boyfriend and I had a long, deep conversation about things.

He told me that he feels like he can't be himself around me.

This hurt more than I could imagine.

He gets like this when he's super stressed, and starts to feel like he doesn't have enough time for me. He has a billion different things going on, and said he didn't feel like he was fulfilling my wants and needs.

We go out a lot, and he doesn't really have the money to be spending, but wants to because he feels like I won't be happy sitting at home watching movies or playing video games with him. When in reality, I wouldn't mind doing that more often! Communication barrier. AGAIN.

I want so much for everything to be great for us, but honestly... we both HAVE to be boring right now. We're both in school, without real jobs, and should be living off of ramen noodles, and not filet minion.

I don't want him to feel as though he needs to impress me by going and doing things with me all the time, when he should be studying for an exam. I know he acts like he has the money to do fun things and keep me "happy", but I don't want him to act like he's something he's not. I would accept him no matter what the situation may be, and tried to explain that to him.

Ultimately, we decided to see a little less of each other so that he can focus on school, and getting his GPA up. He's so stressed, and so worried about things, that I don't need to be an added stress. I love him so much, and truly only want to see him do well and succeed. He's my best friend, and I'm not ready to give up.


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I hope it gets better for you. You sound like you are working very hard on this relationship. Communication barriers can be a major annoyance in a relationship but often mean that the partners have different styles of doing things, in this case it seems like different styles of giving and receiving affection.

As a guy, I can say that we tend to be rather dense when it comes to relationships, which could also be a source of the communication barrier. Sometimes we have to be smacked in the face with a concept before it gets through to us, so patience will definitely be an asset in this.

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Thank you, Ralph. I'm happy someone responded to this blog post... I really need some hope at this point.

You're totally right when you say we have different styles of doing things. We perceive actions differently too

I think it has a lot to do with the long distance relationship we had before I moved here. We did the long distance thing for an entire year before I moved here, and neither of us really knew what to expect being around each other so much more often. It's almost as though we're starting our relationship all over, except we know everything about one another. It's such a strange situation, and I really really hope things will work out. :(

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