Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Blog Ralph

  • entries
    280
  • comments
    998
  • views
    5,178

wane


Ralph

113 views

Every once in a while something happens that makes me wonder if someone is watching out for me. I lost some stuff that I had been trying to get rid of, but was still holding onto because of my addiction. I don't know how long it's been gone because I only recently went to throw it out and found it was already taken care of. Anxiety has taken a step down since this happened.

Intrusive thoughts are overbearing but I still feel like they are just thoughts - I don't have to listen to them. Nonetheless it is good I don't have supplies for a hasty exit lying around. Suicide fantasies running through my head even though I always chicken out when it comes to making plans. Wish I could quit waffling on this question.

I feel like I am living for some level of moral achievement, that is I don't want to die until I've conquered my vices. Once I have, I will feel ready to go in peace. Ironically one of those vices seems to be indulging in morbid suicide fantasies. I wonder what it would be like to be free of that.

0 Comments


Recommended Comments

There are no comments to display.

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...