Noisy thoughts, multiple trains of thought at the same time, some thoughts automatic, others just trying to make too many decisions at once. Some are fragmented, broken shards of a message from myself when I am clear headed. Can't quite remember.
Reading helps, so does music. Read a lot today. Feels like I'm going crazy. Nope, already there. Want to start smoking again. What is it about schizophrenics and smoking? Maybe they know something I don't. Slow suicide... am I dying already? Well, we all are, aren't we? Just want a crutch, something to lean on - but the crutch doesn't help the situation at all. Get high - now you're dumber and poorer but you still have the problem with less time to deal with it. Plus cravings for the next time.
Far better to address the cause of the stress than just the symptom. Ah but I don't know how to do the latter. Besides it's easier to say that when I don't have access to my real drug of choice.