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hope


Ralph

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Things are gradually getting better. Started ADD med on Friday, feeling a big help from it even though I'm only on the starter dose. Could not come soon enough though as I'm already in trouble at work from falling behind. However, I think this trouble can be managed, especially if the new medication is as helpful as I think it will be. Actually, on Friday I thought things were going great and falling together for me. I felt genuinely happy, or more like a deep sense of gratitude for all that I have been fortunate enough to achieve or experience in life. This gave way to depression though over the weekend, which I think is a direct result of me not taking care of my personal needs, too much focus on work and no attention to other areas of my life. Once I figured that out I tended to some things around the house that were bothering me, but that I was procrastinating and I feel better now. At this point my greatest fear is that the meds will crap out on me and I'll be back to square one, or that my blood pressure will go too high and I'll have to be taken off them. Personally I'd rather be on the meds for a few years and have my heart explode than to continue slogging through these symptoms without a medication that works.

I know a lot of people think ADD is a made up condition. I used to think that myself, until it became clear to my psychologist that i actually have it. So if you want to call it chronic laziness or just failing to be organized and disciplined, fine that's who I am. However, the medication flat out allows me to *think* in a logical manner instead of going off on tangents all the time. To say this is a relief from symptoms is an understatement. It's like I've been struggling my whole life and now I know what it's like not to have to struggle. It's amazing

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That's fantastic, Ralph. :) Is this the Strattera? If it continues to do good things for you and you develop high blood pressure that can be treated with a blood pressure med. I know it seems crazy to treat the side-effects of one med with another med, but if you find something that works for you, it can be worth it. When I first went on Effexor (after trialling on numerous medications), my blood pressure rose to 180/120. But the Effexor worked SO WELL and I was so happy. My pdoc hauled me off the med very quickly, in alarm, and I plunged back into depression. We then decided to restart the Effexor together with a med to handle the hypertension.

(As it turned out, I later came off the Effexor and the BP remained high, so it may just have been co-incidental, I hadn't had my blood pressure checked in years until the Effexor. My pdoc checked it because Effexor gives some people high bp. (He actually filed an Adverse Event report with the pharm company, so now I am part of the med's side-effects statistics.) Also, this was before I was dx'ed BP and in retrospect the Effexor made me hypomanic which is why I was so very happy. I remain on the blood pressure pill and my blood pressure is normal.)

Holding thumbs that it continues to do good things for you!

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No, the Strattera did Very Bad Things to me. All the side effects and no symptom relief.

I went to a different pdoc since the first one was not willing to work with me beyond trying Strattera. I'm on a stimulant now and that is what has been helping me. I know there is a huge stigma on this class of meds because of kids abusing them, so I'm on my guard against that. So far, though, being on the med has even reduced my desire to drink because I'm not as frustrated at the end of the day. It's like I'm not struggling as hard against my symptoms so I have more energy to devote to self-regulation (willpower).

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