Too Much too fast making me unstable--I feel so useless
Today has been awful. The main part of our house is still not quite finished from the renovations. Everything is gritty and needs cleaning--absolutely everything. Even clothes, linens, etc. The powdery grit even got through sealed doors. My husband's cousins are coming to sleep over and I'm trying with his help to get everything clean. Plus, he arranged for painters to come on Monday so he's pushing me to make color selections with his help. I know things have to get done but he's pushing me to my limit. I'm about to break. I am anxious and overwhelmed and on the brink of a downward mood swing and I'm already down. I hate being this way and I know hubby is trying to help me get things done. I'm pushing through but I'm so close to breaking. I don't want to have to go to the hospital--that is what my Pdoc has discussed with hubby a few times--if I sink too low he should take me there. It hasn't happened yet (it should have but hubby wasn't sure) and I don't want it too. Oh God, how I just want to hole up in my bed and disappear-it's quiet, no stimulation, dark. I need to be alone. And I need help but don't want it. How crazy is that? I'm really losing my mind, I really am.:confused:
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