About a week ago a close friend of mine asked me why I was sad, I told him that it was just old fears. He insisted I tell him and that he would be my support. I shook as I typed the reply. He was the first person that I wanted to know about the sexual abuse. I trust him not to tell. Now one person, face to face knows me for me. It definitely helps to have someone to talk to when I'm scared or upset. I feel as tho I can heal completely now, at least in a different way then before. On a differen
Too much has happened since I last posted. My dog died, half in my arms late into the night on May 25th. He was suffering and absolutely nothing could be done for him so I had to sign to put him down My moods are still cycling a couple of times a week. Last week I managed to have 5 normal days in a row but still no desire to go out. I have to force myself. I keep seeing and hearing things. Now it happens even when I'm in or close to a normal state. Pdoc now says I have Bipolar NOS with Ps
Finally, my mood has leveled out to normal for 2 days (yesterday & today). How good it feels. It's too soon for the change in dose of one of my meds to have kicked in. I tried to change my thinking to being thankful for the good things and people in my life. I also let my hubby know I just can't keep up with his high energy pace; I become overwhelmed. I believe these things helped quite a bit. It took the pressure off allowing my brain/mind to rest and re-sync. I want to send thank-yous
Today has been awful. The main part of our house is still not quite finished from the renovations. Everything is gritty and needs cleaning--absolutely everything. Even clothes, linens, etc. The powdery grit even got through sealed doors. My husband's cousins are coming to sleep over and I'm trying with his help to get everything clean. Plus, he arranged for painters to come on Monday so he's pushing me to make color selections with his help. I know things have to get done but he's pushing me to
:eek:Yesterday I saw my Pdoc. He had the results from my recent bloodwork. He said he is very concerned because my kidney function is less than half of what it should be. Plus my creatinine level is too high which means something is going on with my kidneys--something is actively causing their destruction. I'm only 57 so this is very serious. This news coupled with the bipolar is eating me up. The meds aren't going to help my kidneys any--especially the Lithium. I am totally bummed out, on
We packed and packed for days on end, sorting out what we had room to keep and what things must be thrown out. Some things with sentimental value had to be thrown away or given away. Emotionally painful. We pushed all day through 36 years worth of stuff beginning at 6:30 am and stopping at 4:00 pm--I wasn't up to the pace. After 3 days of this insanity, I started to cave and have dark thoughts. The guilt of even having these thoughts again slammed me even more because I finally had reached s
