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Reasonable


malign

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Whenever I post a blog entry that isn't entirely positive, people quite reasonably respond that it's quite reasonable for me to feel that way.

But I don't feel quite reasonable about it.  I know what reasonable is, what reality is.  But I don't have to like it.

Isn't that the definition of suffering, not liking what is real?  Eh, maybe not.  More like, not accepting what is real;  liking is something else and totally up to the individual.  But not accepting is like one of my favorite expressions, peeing into a gale.  The wind doesn't stop, and you end up needing a change of clothes.

I've spent a lot of my life trying to convince myself I'm reasonable.  Probably because I'm a Thinking type, according to Myers-Briggs.  Doesn't mean I always think, but that I try to convince myself that I've always thunk.  The reality is closer to being ruled by my emotions, then pretending they make sense according to circumstances.  Why would my feelings make (that kind of) sense, or for that matter, why would circumstances, reality, make sense by my limited human standpoint?

If I were to believe that the Universe makes sense according to my understanding, it would mean that I effectively control it, limit it to the set of events that I'm prepared to accept.  Okay, I have a healthy, or possibly even an unhealthily large, ego, but it's not big enough to believe that my definition of acceptability plays any role in restraining the Universe from doing whatever the [expletive] it wants.

It appears that the only reasonable thing to do is to admit that I'm not going to find the Universe to be entirely reasonable.

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As always, I, unfortunately, cannot offer some helpful insight to the main topic, but I have some comments to share:

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I know what reasonable is, what reality is.

This has surprised me ;o). I mean... it's not an unusual opinion, I suppose, I'd just... imagined you to be a bigger sceptic ;-P.

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If I were to believe that the Universe makes sense according to my understanding, it would mean that I effectively control it, limit it to the set of events that I'm prepared to accept. 

I understand this as meaning that you can (/are willing to?) only accept what you understand (as "making sense") and also that understanding and "making sense" implies the ability to control. The first is perhaps true because you're the Thinking type (however, there are, I think, many things we don't understand yet accept - as the weather (given that you're not a meteorologist, but those are also pretty aware of the limits of their understanding), to give a banal, everyday example). But the second statement... is something I have much more troubles to understand. I know it's true for many cases (mainly in the field of science - if you understand a system, you can control it), but... for instance, one can understand well an illness but not having the possibility to cure it due to diverse technical and / or monetary reasons or one can understand what and why someone else feels without being able to change it. ... I guess what I want to say by this paragraph is that you've written it in a very generalized form which makes perfect sense when one has in mind the examples you have, but is more or less puzzling to at least some of us who imagine different things (from yours) while reading it. But it's not a critique because it's your blog, not, say, 'a paper' or a homework ;-). I just wonder if explaining it to us (/me?) would also help you to understand something more (as it sometimes happens to me), that's why I "bother" mentioning it. 

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Why would my feelings make (that kind of) sense, or for that matter, why would circumstances, reality, make sense by my limited human standpoint?

This reminded me of the "debates" about laws of nature: Why would be nature / the universe describable by ("human") mathematics and physics? And also... "what the laws are, what enforces them?" - I like the opinion that the laws are not "out there" and are not "enforced", it's only human beings who invent ways to describe the universe which are in the best possible (at a given time) way in accordance with available observations. In the same sense, there is no "sense" that the universe (/ life / ...) "makes" (to "someone who knows better than we"), there are only people who construct their theories and descriptions and opinions in order to satisfy, to the highest possible (at a given time) extent, their longing for the feeling (or we can also call it illusion, in a similar sense as would Newton laws be an "illusion" created by looking only at "a too limited range of velocities and dimensions") that "the universe / life / ..." makes some sense. When you look at your (quoted) question from this point of view, then... I think it looses sense: Because then it's not true that "if your human standpoint wasn't so limited, you would be able to see the sense that reality makes": The standpoint and abilities you have are enough to make some sense of it all; your own, subjective sense - the only one that really matters to you. But then there's the question: How do you know the sense you make of it is "the best one for you"? Do you have to like and/or accept the sense? Is acceptability the criterion? I don't know. I'm only trying to potentially inspire you for further thinking, in case you want.

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 the only reasonable thing to do is to admit that I'm not going to find the Universe to be entirely reasonable

Well, I don't know if it's the only reasonable thing to do (I suspect it was perhaps more a figure of speech in that sentence than a certainty), but it makes sense to me as a conclusion of your text. 

In the end, I'd like to mention that what I perceive as a strong, dominant emotion behind your text is discontent / frustration (leading you to find a reasonable ;-) way how to get rid of it and be more accepting of the unchangeable unpleasant aspects of reality). Is it a correct observation?

(I wrote quite a lot but don't have tome now to revise (-> corect) it, sorry...)

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