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A Year Gap


malign

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I think this is the longest gap there's ever been in this blog, which has been running since 2008.

I guess nothing too surprising happened this past year:  classes go on;  it will soon be time for practicum, where the rubber meets the ... forehead of the client;  I went back to work for the big-box grocery-slash-everything chain I worked for before ...  All the usual anniversaries went by:  my hospitalization, my ex filing a restraining order that began the end of our marriage, and so on, but they didn't carry very much weight this time.  More prominent was the two year anniversary of my second marriage, which is much happier.

I continue to make progress in my own therapy.  And that might be part of the reason for the gap:  I would like to postpone writing until I'm "done", whatever that means, until I think I can sound smart describing the humbling process of coming to terms with coping "skills" that I would rather change.

What I found, mostly, is that my childhood was, in fact, kind of difficult, despite everyone involved doing their best and no major evil.  My folks just had too much on their hands, having two baby boys in their 40's.  As the first child, I did my best to relieve them of some of the burden, which simply isn't a child's job ...  It made it very confusing about what I'm allowed to do, what I'm allowed to want, who I'm allowed to be.  The limits seemed a good idea at the time.

Now I have to reconcile the part that resents all that I thought I should give up with the part that thought that giving those things up was a good idea.  And I do mean reconcile;  there's a desire to "replace" the old manager part, but all that does is change which part is exiled.  I have to find an argument to which they'll both agree for why they're stronger and better together.

So.  Still here, still reading, still hoping that people benefit.  See y'all around.

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Haven’t been on in ages, but I read your update, now a year old, and it was nice to hear how you’re doing.  Hope things continue to go well and you guys are happy.  Indeed, weathering the current global situation with a steadfast partner, certainly is a blessing.  Take care. 

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It's good to hear from you, Jai.  At a minimum, it inspired me to post again, about how I haven't been posting.  🙂

Here's to steadfast partners, and friends of all sorts.  My wife and I are doing fine, both covid-ly (so far, anyway), and relationally.  Learning to be together is constant, as learning to be oneself is.  © 2020, Platitudes-R-Us.  All rights reversed.

We'd love to hear more from you, Jai, whether "out loud" here, or not.  You take care, too.  Care is what it's all about, after all.  (That's it:  I could do greeting cards!)

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