When I was 16, I made the conscious decision that I wanted to climb, be outdoorsy, instead of hanging always with drug smoking friends.
1. with friends. at this place I don't remember where, but we were watching the godfather. I had smoke with the rest of them, and suddenly, I had what resembled a panic attack. I was shaking and my heart was racing. At that very moment, I thought, I don't want this anymore. I want to do what I always wanted. Climb mountains, and bike. Not this. This is boring and useless. And there's always drama with these friends. I want new outdoorsy friends. My brother is like that and he seems so much happier and healthier.
2. I am 16.
3. A bunch of dead beats friends...
4. I feel so uncomfortable. I want this state to end. I want to get out of there so bad
6. I would have not hang out with these people, but, it did make this decision so much more powerful
7. clear minded.
8. I would speak to all these friends and say: " why are we doing this. such a waste of time.
9. I am changing course right now and I have the solution. I have friends who do outdoors stuff. Yeah!
10. I just need to implement my plan, which i did
1. I feel good about this
2. I feel a bit sad about thinking about that night, because, I had made this decision, and it wa so clear, and now I feel in limbo again.
3. That was a great decision. I am glad I did it.
4. I learned that I could pull myself out of a bad habit, a bad group of friends that influenced me wrong. I could do what I wanted.