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Groundhog Day


malign

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I realized this morning that I have a protective part of me that says, each morning, "Hey, you survived another day! So, whatever you did yesterday must be safe. Don't do anything you didn't do yesterday."

The problem is, that procedure inevitably results in a minimal existence, because it doesn't say anything about not doing things I did yesterday. So, I'm allowed to do less and less each day, but not more.

Then, when I get tired of doing all of that work just to survive, while getting nothing for myself, I get tantrum-y, and struggle against that existence, but it's already minimal. The alternative seems to be self-destruction.

Neither part wants a real, centered existence, where I get to do what's needed as well as what I want.

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What if you expanded your memory further back and identified other things beyond what you did yesterday that also felt safe? Can you grasp on to those little by little to add something each day rather than your world becoming smaller????

Are you sure those parts don't want a centered existance or is there some fear involved that puts a barrier on the path to getting there????

I understand striving to feel that sometimes elusive feeling of safety!! That's why movement toward change needs to happen carefully and deliberately. Bend your boundaries toward that centered existance but be oh so careful not to break them.

Lean on us and we can hold them up for you. We are your friends and if you need some extra strength for this path you're on.....you can have some of mine. I would like to share it with you if you need it.

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