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Another Anniversary


malign

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So, right after the year on-site, there's another anniversary to "celebrate": my mother died a year ago today.

What struck me most, going through the day, was just how far my life has come in the intervening year.

Last year, I had to sneak over to see her the day she died. No one from my family could contact me to tell me that she had passed for two days, and then they had to come to the house because they didn't think it would be okay to phone. Last year, I spent the next two work days in bed, depressed beyond functioning.

Today, I went to the mountains, hiked somewhere alone that Mom and I had been together, and let myself remember. This year, I have a network of friends, a purpose, a reason to live.

This year, there is hope.

I just wish she had had a chance to enjoy it with me.

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Sorry Mark and yet, congratulations too,

You made it through the year AND that awful day. I have a hard time with certain days too - death of Mum, Dad, loss of our child. It's that "Old brain" thing - the date triggers the original emotions and makes it feel like you're living that day all over again. But you made it through. I don't know that it is ever something we completely, "get over" and that's okay. I really think that every time we experience loss of that sort, we never can get back to the way we were before but, go through a process of adjustment that changes who we are slightly. But we do come out on the other side - may not totally get over it but, we do get through, with love and support, which you have in abundance.

Take care.

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