Even though the prelude to my weekend was messy and stinky. All in all it turned out to be an A+.
My boyfriend has gone back home and everyone else has had to return back to work.
So today I will be here alone with my thoughts. I'm alittle anxious. I'm alittle afraid.
I've been up since 4:30am watching the World News. Those old nagging gnawing thoughts are trying to creep in.
Those feelings and thoughts that I'm a failure. I'm a loser. My son will never love me and our relationship will never be repaired.
Of course this is only stemming from the court hearing. But those thoughts won't win and they must go away.
I can feel the paranoia wanting to come in. Like someone is going to come into my home and hurt me because I am this so called failure.
So my plan for today is NOT to do a bunch of sleeping because it will cause me depression. I've got several rooms in the house which are in desperate need of cleaning lol.
I'm lying if I say I'm going to put all the xmas stuff out. I'm not in the mood for decorating. But my goal is to hang one wreath on the front door.
Everyone is going to be happy to hear that I've done that.
But the real joy is going to come when I pick up my pen once again because I'm a writer.
And I haven't written a sentence or a paragraph in over 6 months.
Okay one step at time huh.
Have a Blessed Day Everybody!