This afternoon/evening has definitely been a challenge for me. I'm at home by myself right now ... and was planning on being alone for the next three days. My boyfriend is gone to his dad's so he can work on our new house, but that means that I'm here alone. My anxiety is through the roof right now - I won't even go outside right now for a cigarette - but my friend is coming over, thankfully. I have the greatest friends ever. One is coming over to stay with me tonight & tomorrow his fiance is coming over, and they'll both stay the night tomorrow night. They both know about my anxiety issues and are more than happy to help me out.

Eating was a challenge tonight too. I guess my typical reaction to anxiety is reverting back to my eating disorder. (Anxiety = feeling out of control = desire for control = anorexic behaviors) I know that I did some of ritualistic habits, like eating very quickly & cutting up my food really small, but I also know that if I didn't do that, I probably wouldn't have eaten at all. At least I made myself eat ... and there wasn't even anyone here to push me! I did it all on my own... I guess I'm kinda proud of myself.

Anxiety is still up a bit, but not as bad now that I've written some & my friend will over in about 20 minutes. <3 Thank god for best friends!