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OMG ... I swear that if it's not one thing it's another!! Finally seem to be a LITTLE less stressed, and now I've somehow f***ed up my hip! Why am I just some little ant underneath a magnifying glass?? MIL said that she thinks it's just pain transferred from my back surgery - but I've learned that it's not. It doesn't have the symptoms for it. Nothing fits. I thought I had a strained muscle, but no swelling so that doesn't make sense. Haven't seen any bruising. I don't know what's going on.

And I somehow have to get into the doctor tomorrow for my ovarian cysts. The nurse said that since I've had three in the past two weeks (which is inconsistent and abnormal for me) that I need to come in. Ugh ... I don't have the money for this s***. [sigh] Whatever. I'll see if the boyfriend can help me out.

On top of this, I feel like I'm dissociating more & more. I probably dissociate in short amounts of time throughout probably 50% of my day now. So that's not helping. Depression is really sinking in hardcore right now, too. Just gotta do emotionally like I do with the physical pain ... suck it up & push through.

I dunno how I'm gonna survive ...

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