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Well, on advice, I read two of the Topics on here pretty much end-to-end, the "Emotional Resilience" and "Online Self-Help" ones.

First, my congratulations on providing such a varied and deep series of articles. Dr. Phil can't match this! ;-)

The Self-Help thing did bring certain personal tendencies into focus. First, the difficulty that I find with the methodical planning described there: probably just another form of "running away". Second, the difficulty I have with maintaining emotional commitment to my plan: sometimes, I just don't seem to care. I think I need to view those as "relapses" that just happen to occur more than half the time. (And third, my tendency to list "difficulties". ;-)

One of the points repeatedly made, though, is that more basic needs have to be met before proceeding upwards. Yet, for me, emotional safety probably won't be achieved while living with the person that I am, but the resources I would need to develop in myself to leave seem to occur higher up in the pyramid. That is something that truly confuses me.

Similarly, learning-based change requires that no one else in your life is providing you with more negative reinforcement than you can provide positive. Another way to say this is that the hardest part of assertiveness, for me, is sticking to it in the face of resistance. That's where the negative reinforcement wins out over my own belief that I deserve success.

Oh well, random disorganized reactions.


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Regarding "random disorganized reactions" ....It is reassuring to me that I am not the only one that thinks/expresses themselves like this....sometimes I think other people think I have another nationality and speak another language!

How's that for random!

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Hey, I have random disorganized reactions too! Maybe we should form a sort of clan or something...like the RDR people for Positive Change :)

Ok, ok. Well, let's just say, the things you listed are not my forte either Malign. It is much easier when I have someone sort of keeping me accountable. Like a T or some sort of coach. Unfortunately, they don't seem to want to do that these types... which is unfortunate because, I find, I did make a couple of changes a while back, to my diet mainly, with the help of some girls in the office, where we all wanted to lose weight a bit, and started of with good ol weight watchers...and I am still keeping my diet pretty straight to this day, even if I am not in WW anymore. I don't know, maybe I'm seeing it all wrong?

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