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Getting Help?

malign

Entry posted by malign

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Well, I'm trying to get myself to seek help, find a therapist. And I think I'm wearing out my support system with my reluctance.

I was in therapy when I met my future wife, back in 2001. I was also taking anti-depressants, at the time, though I was having trouble finding one that worked well for me. My future, now soon-to-be-ex-, wife felt like I was involving the therapist in my decision-making about the relationship, and basically, forced me to choose between them. She also had objections to being with a man who felt like "he needs medication for the rest of his life". So, that went, too.

I didn't get massively depressed, right away, and things went well enough that we got married in the fall of 2002.

Later in the marriage, I found myself fantasizing suicide, and was partly aware that it was the marriage that was causing it, enough to try therapy again to see why I was staying in it.

I never did find out; even though she favored the idea at first, she again forced me to choose, and by that time, I was pretty defeated.

So, twice I allowed myself to sever the bonds of a therapy relationship, just because someone else demanded it of me. Both times, I choose peace over being true to myself and to the parts of me that needed to be heard.

That's what's making it so difficult to go back, now that I'm free to do so. Because it was really me that stopped me, before, and I'm still around.

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really

Well, hi Malign -- nice pic.

I have ended several relationships after being involved for 2-3 yrs. Why? Because they didn't think my Bipolar meds were neccessary when I needed them and I was given no support.

Or I had to go into the hospital an I was given no support when I came out.

And it was easy for me to say Good Bye.

I have not began a longterm relationship without informing the gentlemen that I am BiPolar an asking them do they understanderstand?

I've had 2 men laugh and try to belittle me after I came home from being hospitalized. It was over so quick & fast - - good frickin bye.

One gentlemen I was engaged too lived with and he had purchased us a beautiful home. After he did that I packed my stuff so fast and moved out. Never again.

Not My Mental Health!

In 1985 when I was diagnosed Manic Depressive the whole world was damn near against me including my family.

I couldn't have a man or husband who wasn't ok with this. And there are too many men women and people that don't look at chemical imbalances as some kind of deadly curses.

And thank you Jesus I've got me one. He knew I was Bipolar before I told him.

He saids if you can love me and I've got diabetes then I can love you with bipolar. We both have medical conditions and need to take our meds. He truly doesn't see the difference and a person that loves me don't.

I didn't mean to go off on a tangent. I'm sorry.

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goose

Sorry, I missed this Mark, only saw it today. Well my view on this is that therapy is very useful and has been very successful for me.

As you are at a crossroads at the moment, it would be helpful to be able to discuss your future out loud - with a therapist - to enable you to make decisions about the future.

Hope you find a good one.

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