I feel like shit today. I feel lonely. well, I am lonely. I hate to be lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to. If I had only one friend it would made so much difference. I see people on facebook having even 500 friends, and here I am, I dont even have one person to talk to.
I hate my life- this was a line I would repeat to myself a lot a few years back. Now this line has become kind of an understatement.
I wish I had a better childhood. I had such a horrible childhood. I was lonely, and I was bored to death. I even went into childhood depression because of the boredom. I had some time back read an article which mentioned this research which says that childhood depression can start from as early as 3. I actually wanted to know about this very fact, because I did know I had this depression, only I didnt know when it started.
Well it didnt come as a surprise. I dont have any memory of a happy childhood. I even have memories from the age of 3. But at the same time I dont have any happy memories. I hated late evenings then, I hate late evenings now. I just find the twilight period so gray, dull, depressing, gloomy. I wish I had a friend whose hand I could hold to get through this time. I would love that friend so much. But I am 27 and I dont even have a friend. All I meet are a******s.
I hate being alone. I have been alone my whole life. But I am still not used to it. I crave for company.