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swich going off i my head


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i dont understand whats happening to me it like a swich in my head going off im so scared right now i feel very implusive and scared can someone help me please

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this has been happernig a lot lately and i dont understand why at the moment i feel like getting the sharpest knife out the draw and cutting myself really badmy husband is with me at the moment but he has to sleep at some point god i dont understand it all im really mixed up

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my diagnosis is major depression but sometimes i thing its more then that one minute i can be ok the next mintue i get really hyper that lasts for about a week then i fall hard and the inbeween is when i feel like a swich is being turned on and off and im all over the place i just cant cope anymore iv had no medication changes of triggers so i dont understand whats happening to me

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Have you been able to talk to your therapist about the mood changes you have experienced?

I see that this blog was written 5 months ago. Has anything gotten better in your life? Or worse for you?

Cutting is a way to cope , even though it is not the best way, and can be addicting. Have you tried other ways to cope besides cutting? What does your husband think about the self harming?

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No my husband dosnt know I'm doing it again he found out last year when I tried to take my own life things have not gotten better if anything I'm getting worse iv tryed not to cut at one point I used to feel guilty and all I could think about was what if he found out but now I don't have any guilt about doing it I just have to make sure he dosnt see it which can be hard at times I'm finding as each day goes by I'm getting more impusive and taking more risks just to feel the release in away I know what is comming I know the signs from last time but i'm not scared no more iv lived in fear all my life and I'm near the end

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