This is one of the 989485279832847st times I promised myself to follow a plan and....failed.
Tomorrow comes a new promise. If I succeed to do any of them I'll be glad.
One of them is read some of your posts, so hopefully tomorrow I'll have a proper breakfast and do some movement maybe aerobic or yoga, then household then read some mental help blogs, do my thesis which-guess...I haven't started YET, and that is just half of the things I have to do tomorrow.
Most of the times in my life I feel as I am struggling to manage MUSTS I put to myself and TIME.
Time seems to be sooooo limited, yet I use it like it is unlimited. When I have no time I get so upset and say I don't manage to do things cause my day is full. So I write down responsibilities that in fact I know it is impossible to manage. Well it is possible if I RUN, but it seems I am not that willing to run.
The worst part of my personality is when I have plenty of time. Then phases of unlimited rests on the sofa come to an end when I am fed up with it and get sick of my lazy self and they are replaced with phases where I write down unlimited jobs I have to do (or not really have to-like no priority at all) in a day.
Then, seeing this scary mountain of jobs...mostly I do less than a half of them or just do nothing again and....get tottally sick of my lazy self.
I know what drives me back. It's that stupid thesis. In order not to face it, not to cope with it I can do ANY job I can think of. Which in fact...I don't really do it or compleet it, cause I feel bad for leaving back my thesis. I know that till I get rid of this thesis, this mountain is going to be there heavy as can be, making the other jobs look heavier than they really are.
Lately I wonder...what is best to do to get rid of jobs that has to be done? Cope with one at a time? Work on it the whole day through, leaving everything else behind to meet them when you are done with the one you've chosen? Or just cope with everything specific times of the day....eg 12.00-14.00 writing my thesis, 14.00-15.00 sending CV's, 15.00-16.00 practicing quitar...?
Why should 'time', something that every person on earth finds a decend way to cope with, is something sooooooo difficult for me?