Anxiety horror.

[pixiedust]

Hello everyone, first of all sorry for my english.

Since 2010 I suffer from anxiety . I refuse to leave my house and sometimes I'd rather starve than go to a market. What bothers me more is that anxiety is giving me pain in stomach and gives me a lot of gas . I'm so afraid to drop any of them that I hold as much as I can ( and it makes my belly swell and hurt a lot ) . I get so nervous about it that increasingly worse until I see that I will not take it anymore and hide in a bathroom. I frequent a psychologist but I never had the heart to tell it to her , but that's the worst thing in my life. Every time I have to leave I panic , I'm not going to school and my mother is paying the school and is sad because she thinks I'm just too lazy to go. Soon I'll have to go to work (about two months or more) and I am just too scared of what I'll do in this place with my anxiety killing me. I don't go out with friends, never. I don't have a life. I've noticed that the worst places for me in that sense are airports. I don't know why, but my hands sweated so much that seemed waterfalls. I was so scared but not because of the airplane, I love airplanes (I want to work with it, I want to be a pilot) just get on the plane and I was already better. The thing was the airport (the worst, because any place leave me in stomach panic). What I'll do when I go to work on an airport for example? Or any other place? I don't know what to do, I just stay home.

Any ideas?

Thank you so much for those who will read and try to help me.

[LaLa]

Hello, Pixiedust, welcome!

I'm sorry your anxiety is making your life so difficult. As you probably know, it's a common problem in anxiety disorders that they make people avoid many things in life, don't allow them to live "fully" / as they'd like to . It's great that you're seeing a psychologist! I hope this help will work more and more for you! It takes time in therapy to become able to talk about difficult topics (whatever they are for any particular patient). For instance, it took me to my therapist one of my biggest problems (I was so very ashamed of) half a year and some other similar problem even a year! I would have preferred to tell it sooner and I encourage you to do so soon, too, but... at the same time, it's true that sometimes it really "needs its time". Do you trust your psychologist? Have you had so far only good experiences with her? And, most importantly: What is it that prevents you from telling her? What is hidden behind the fear and shame you feel about it?? It's important to analyze this. Do you think, for instance, that she would laugh at you, reject you, make fun of you, ??? Do you really believe she would? What can you loose if you tell her everything? And what could you gain?

I'm sorry I don't have time to answer your questions, but I'm sure you'll find the answers in you therapy. The first step you need to take now is to tell your psychologist about your biggest problems and fears. Then, later, you'll see more clearly even those other things .

Take care!

And; don't worry about your English; it's good! (I also used to apologize for mine a lot, so I know the feeling, but... )