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I'm so tired


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I'm at the point that I don't know what to do... it's been a series of unfortunate events since October of last year, and I'very hit my breaking point. I don't want to keep doing this, especially if things keep falling apart... I was in the middle of my 3rd quarter in the nursing program when I caught my boyfriend lying to me about texting one of my "friends" and we broke up, then he swore up and down that he was working on rebuilding trust (while he pursued another woman and covered up all evidence of any communications... she contacted me), my dog of ten years was diagnosed with a malignant tumor and had surgery to remove it just to have to put him to sleep one month later because he wasn't healing, I have a chronic illness that has taken a turn for the worst since all of this stress began, I'm in 4th quarter now and am drowning in work and feel like I can't keep up, and my daughter has gotten in trouble the last two days at school for hitting other kids (this is NOT like her at all!). She has been telling me for the last 3 weeks that she hates this school (she goes to two and loves the other one, but it only runs half of the day and I go to school full time)... I'm struggling and for the past few nights, as I lay in bed, all I can think about is wanting it to end. I'm tired of fighting so hard, the only thing getting me through currently is that I have my daughter to raise all by myself... but I am even failing at that. My heart hurts and I don't want to feel this way any more.

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Welcome, stressmonkey. I'm so sorry for your pain and sadness. :icon_cry: I'm sorry for the loss of your relationship and your dog. I struggle with loss too and multiple losses...I can't imagine... Sitting here with you.

I hear that you are very busy in your life and that everything feels overwhelming right now. Do you have anyone to share with there who will support you? A friend or family member? Are you able to take some time each day to care for your needs? Maybe do something for yourself? I hope some pressure will ease once your schoolwork has been completed.

Does your daughter talk and share with you? Is there any chance she has been acting in self defense?

It sounds like you are managing a lot and doing your very best. That's all any of us can do, I think. I hope you can be gentle with yourself. I also hope things feel calmer soon.

Take care.

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  • 5 weeks later...

sorry to hear of your troubles Stressmonkey, i can imagine it all feels so overwhelming right now. it's healthy to feel sad and stressed sometimes, but try to find balance too if you can. don't overlook the good things in your life, like that you're on your way to a great career in nursing, have a healthy daughter, etc.
i've been on the receiving end of a similar relationship in the past, i know how much it hurts to be stabbed in the back like that. ultimately, it's better to find out sooner than later though as this isn't the kind of person you want to be with long term.
i'm sure this issue with your daughter will pass, the work load during your program will eventually ease up and you'll meet someone new when you're ready. there's a lot to look forward to.
i can see how you'd feel swamped in the meantime, but i guess just try to enjoy the journey by taking it moment to moment when you can. hope you're well.

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