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I don't know what to do.


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I have no idea what to do right now. I just want to be at peace. I don't know whether my best friend is lying to me. I don't know whether anyone will actually miss me. Sometimes it feels like the only time anyone will actually notice or acknowledge me is if I am no longer around. Please help me.

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Hello and welcome!

I'm sorry you're feeling suicidal, unappreciated, and lonely :( .

Acknowledgement feels very important, but if it comes or not doesn't depend much on what we are and do, but on the circumstances - the character of people around us. So if it hasn't come yet to you, it doesn't mean it won't, because circumstances change and you can once also find new people able to show you the respect and love you deserve and need. Killing yourself wouldn't do anything good, although it seems to bring "the ultimate peace" to you. (For instance, you wouldn't be able to feel and appreciate the peace, being dead. And the people you'd like to punish by your disappearance wouldn't understand, wouldn't "learn their lesson".)

May I ask you for more information?

What's happened, what do you suspect your friend is lying you about, ...?

And how old are you?

Where do you feel unappreciated - at home, at school, at work, among friends?

Do you have something you enjoy (a hobby, being with a pet, ...)? Have you lost interest in it recently or can it still bring some joy and / or comfort?

I'm looking forward to your answers.

Take care!

BTW; here is a website that might be helpful when you feel suicidal: https://www.metanoia.org

 

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I am going to be a junior in highschool in 2 months. On most days I am happy and passionate about my dreams. But some days, the world crashes down on me.

As for my friend, I fear she may suffer from schizophrenia. She sees 'things' no one else does and no matter how much I try to believe her, it is a little too far fetched. Sometimes I feel like she exaggerates things to the point of it being one huge fantasy.

Other than that, both of us are polar opposites. She is the cool, popular and fit one whereas I am the loner nerd who could do with losing a bit of weight. I am extremely shy and barely go out of the house whereas she goes out to parties or to shop almost everyday.

There are many signs of this relationship being unhealthy, but I find it easier to ignore those signs.

- She hates unfit people. Like to the point where she wants them to die if they can't stay fit.

- She has a huge web of friends who I honestly don't mix with at all.

- She can sometimes be extremely self-centered.

But, she is also one of the most supportive people in my life. She always pushes me to be the best and she relies on me as I rely on her. I am one of the only people she shows her 'true' self to and no matter how much I try, I can never imagine myself leaving her.

 

When it comes to hobbies and interests, I have a lot. I have 3 amazing dogs, a wonderful cabinet of books and an iPod with heavenly music.

Those are some of the things that keep me grounded in my darkest moments.

Regardless of that, I still need to seek help because even though I get by, I never want myself to take the step that could end it all.

Lastly, thank you so much for your support. You literally made my day :)

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