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My pathetic stump


Fedupwithlife
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I am genuinely on the verge of sacking it all off.  What ever way I spin my limited options, the net result is I'm better of dead.  Every moment of my life is consumed by my tiny acorn, political correctness has prevented jokes regarding every condition, black, white, fat, ginger, the lot.  The only thing not off limits is a tiny penis, I'm reminded of it every day.  I'm fucking sick of it, I see no way out of my turmoil.  I can't even discus it with ny wife because I don't trust her and there's only so many times you can put up with being told it's all in your head.

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@Fedupwithlife sorry to hear you are feeling this bad about things. You are right about the jokes but take it for what it is worth. Anyone that peddles is such fare is a talentless hack seeking attention. Our culture is extremely course and nasty. I try to tune it out.

Sounds like your relationship w your wife is less than great and maybe you could work on that.  I have never been married so not in a position to comment beyond that.  

Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Many of us are not happy about our appearance and capabilities in life. But we get one shot at life and then we disappear forever so I vote for making the best of it. 

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It's the old old story. Every minority is protected from jokes but the small penis jokes are up for grabs. But is anyone really protected from jokes and ridicule? Imo It just moved into the shadows. So, unless small men stand up publicly we're not even going to get the façade of acceptance. I recently thought about an incident in my childhood when we made fun of a girl because she was missing fingers. I think about it a lot because she deserved love and respect and acceptance but we were ruthless teenagers who didn't care about her feelings. Could she have known that we were probably all compensating for our own version of deformity? Probably not. She was likely consumed with how it affected her personally and thought we were pieces of shit, which, we were. Whenever I'm tempted to judge others for judging me I always ask myself the question "would I condemn myself for this, have I ever done something similar?". The answer is almost always "yes", more times than I care to remember. I regret not being a better person when I was younger, but that's the benefit of hindsight and I can't change it. I struggle with my size pretty much every day of my life and nobody deserves to be punished and ridiculed for something they can't control or change, but unfortunately that's the world we live in. Don't give up on yourself because people out there in the world don't see you as perfect. I'm not big on the Bible, it's pretty much contradictory nonsense. But I do like "Forgive them father, for they know not what they do". I think that's accurate. If I'd really known how much my words could hurt I'd never have uttered them. The same can be said for most of the people out there who think it's 'ok' to single out people like us for ridicule. It's hard to forgive people when your first thought is to throttle them until their head pops off, but I forgave myself for being an insensitive dick as a teenager, so I offer the same to the people who have teased me in the past. It's not easy and I have to do it multiple times, sometimes in the same minute but it's better than letting their words take me back to the brink of suicide. I hope you feel better and try to open an honest dialogue with your wife. If she says "it's nothing, it's in your head" then stop her and explain to her that it isn't. It may be in your head ultimately, but this is a real issue to be dealt with and shouldn't be brushed under the carpet. The result of ignoring the issue is the pain you're feeling now. What is the point of any partner if we can't confide in them our deepest insecurities? Stay positive, brother. Nothing is easy here, but it can be healed. 

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It goes good man. Still taking these blackjack dealing classes (now we're learning Spanish 21, a cool variant of blackjack where the 10s are removed but you always win when you get 21 and you can double down whenever you want, as well as many other little twists like being paid 3:2 on a 6-7-8 or 7-7-7 (2:1 if they're suited, and 3:1 if they are spaded).

I spent last weekend at my girlfriend's house (which is an hour south of where I live) and I had a good time. However on Monday, her mom Googled my real name and found out about how I lost my assistant-nursing license due to a failed drug test (they even said which drugs were in my system which is fucked up, I'm still working on getting my name cleared on there because that's fucked up). I was upset but the more I think about it, fuck her mom anyways, she's a dumb 38 year old who has two (would have three if she could have kids with her current husband) baby daddies (had my girlfriend at age 15) and is probably one of the biggest reasons my girlfriend is as fucked up (and used/abused, highschool dropout, who still has so much to learn like the fact that New Orleans is not in Florida and what an Anglophile is).

I was just discussing this with this married female friend of mine (who was asking if we had talked about marriage and I mentioned how she has brought it up but I told her it was way too early to even be taking about it and how we should at least live together for a while first). Anyways, I was telling her how I love my girlfriend but she is not the intellectual film/music "art fag" girl I always imagined I would end up with. She is not dumb either, fortunately. In fact, when she shows me some of her writing, I am often surprised at how sneaky good she is at writing despite not being an intellectual (or even coming close to being one). But I would gladly trade my girlfriend having bad tastes in music/film and being un-intelligent for the heart/soul she has. She is the most beautiful, loving, trusting, caring person I have ever known. I am so lucky to have her. I think SPS guys need to be with girls like her. Girls that couldn't care less about superficial shit like penis size and are loving/caring girls who would prefer cuddling for hours over fucking for minutes.

I am picking her up this weekend and I am going to take her to where I grew up (which is only 15 or 20 minutes drive northeast of where I live now) and we are going to spend Saturday night there and then probably go to this Super Bowl party (where we will hopefully watch New England go down in epic defeat).

 

 

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Sounds good. I'd say, from experience, a fucked up relationship with the in-laws is kind of common, at least at first. But you're right, not cool posting private details about failed drug tests, that's fucked up. Glad everything is going good, funny how life takes precedent over dick worries and before you know it you're stressing over things you didn't think would crop up, like in-laws etc. 

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