Mother Made Me Play with Bullies

[Wayless]

I was painfully, pathologically shy growing-up, from toddler on.  My mother was very disturbed by this and demanded I get over it even before kindergarten.

Part of her program was to force me to play with bullies, often older kids.  She would intervene if their bullying got too extreme so it didn't go "too far", but that just made me a "momma's boy" that couldn't defend himself. 

She thought I would learn by example, but, instead, the experience just ground me into the dirt and increased her fury.  She would tell me what wonderful potential, mentally and physically, I had, but rage that I was betraying the family and myself by not taking advantage of my innate qualities!

I think this was very psychologically damaging to me.

[Victimorthecrime]

That sucks.   I hope you have found a way to cope and heal.  The past is a problem for many of us.  

I have stopped trying to figure people out.  I just do my best to be prepared for it.  

[Wayless]

For most of my life I thought my mother's behavior was the root of my problems.

Then I realized there was something wrong from toddlerhood.  I showed none of the exuberance typical of toddlers.

I developed a stammer and severe social anxiety.  Finally, at 50 when I started supplementing testosterone, I improved 100%.  Before that only alcohol made me half way normal.

Possibly my hormones were screwed-up in the womb as my mother was an amphetamine abuser during pregnancy. 

[Victimorthecrime]

Wow ok.  I am in the 50+ bracket also.  Are you getting T from a skin patch?  

I take some OTC supplements but nothing prescribed.  

I have had my battles w alcohol too.  

Glad you found something that helps.  

My mother meant well but she could be meddlesome and her advice stemmed from some highly questionable beliefs.  Not religious beliefs just assumptions about life & human nature.  

[Wayless]

Yes, a skin patch.  The real bioidentical is expensive, but very effective.  I wear patch only during day so continue to produce some of my own and testicals don't shrink.  It is a lifesaver, but difficult to get prescribed and paid for.

Interesting!