Valentin Posted December 2, 2019 Report Share Posted December 2, 2019 Our relationship was almost 4 years old. During the years we had many problems and fights, but for me the most painful thing was that in these 4 years she was dating with 3 boys(like 2 or 3 dates on a person), she went with them to meetings, while she was with me,she did not sleep with them, they were just dating and talking through messages. The first time when we break up was when i got her talking to a guy , they were talking every day on facebook and even in video chat. I was alone 6 months after the break up and then i wanted to be with her again , during that period , she had a boyfriend and after the 2nd dating she had already sex with him. After 4 months of the relationship I found out that again she went out with another boy on a date. I separated from her again. Now she writes to me after 2 months and wants to be together with me. I want to specify that she had in the last 2 months 2 lovers, and I had a few dates with a girl. I want to know what kind of person is she , why did she meet with so many guys? Why did she cheated on me so many times? I know she really loves me, but how do you think she can solve this problem with the boys, so that I can be happy with my ex. I want to reconcile with her, I love her too much. Do you have solutions to the problem with cheating or is there no solution? I have 23 years old , and she has 22. I am very sorry for my english. I hope you can understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted December 4, 2019 Report Share Posted December 4, 2019 Hello, Valentin, welcome! There certainly are solutions to the problem, but it's up to you and the girl to find them together, if you're both willing to. Some professional help (a couples therapist) might be useful, but you can try alone if that's not possible / available. Before trying to find a way / "strategy" to avoid repeating the suffering you experienced in your first relationship, I would recommend learning a lot from psychologists about these topics. Here are some very good sources I know: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/ -> mainly these chapters: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/affairs/ https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/category/relationships/dating/ two videos: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmiKAoAmYSg another interview: https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1442593348001 and then some of these: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/collections/201908/why-we-cheat https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/infidelity https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2019/09/02/why-do-i-cheat/ You can ask that girl to read / watch that all, too and then have several sincere conversations about the issues discussed there. What do you think? Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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